Mary: A Fiction
{"WorkMasterId":6702,"WpPageId":284393,"ParentWpPageId":193813,"Slug":"mary-a-fiction","Url":"https://chrisdeasy.com/theos/humanities/philosophy/philosophers/mary-wollstonecraft/mary-a-fiction/","RelativeUrl":"theos/humanities/philosophy/philosophers/mary-wollstonecraft/mary-a-fiction/","HasFullText":true,"RawHtmlLength":225799,"CleanHtmlLength":169689,"Kicker":"Philosophy Work","Title":"Mary: A Fiction","Deck":"The novel experiments with sensibility, women\u0027s friendship, education, imagination, dependency, and the search for female independence under restrictive social norms.","BackLink":{"Text":"Back to Mary Wollstonecraft","Url":"https://chrisdeasy.com/theos/humanities/philosophy/philosophers/mary-wollstonecraft/"},"AuthorCard":{"Label":"Author","Title":"Mary Wollstonecraft","Url":"https://chrisdeasy.com/theos/humanities/philosophy/philosophers/mary-wollstonecraft/","MediaHref":"","ImageSrc":"https://chrisdeasy.com/wp-content/uploads/mary-wollstonecraft-01-wollstonecraft-c-1797.jpg","ImageAlt":"Mary Wollstonecraft by John Opie, c. 1797, National Portrait Gallery","FilterTerra":"Western Europe","ClickText":"Mary Wollstonecraft","ClickHref":"https://chrisdeasy.com/theos/humanities/philosophy/philosophers/mary-wollstonecraft/","Copies":["1759 CE – 1797 CE","Spitalfields, London","English Enlightenment feminist philosopher, republican political writer, educator, novelist, translator, historian, and advocate of women\u0027s rational education, civic dignity, and moral independence."]},"ContextCards":[{"Label":"Period","Key":"Period:3","Title":"Early Modern History","DateText":"1500 CE – 1799 CE","Url":"https://chrisdeasy.com/theos/humanities/philosophy/eras-of-thought/philosophers-of-early-modern-history/"},{"Label":"Era","Key":"Era:9","Title":"Enlightenment and Proto-Industrial","DateText":"1700 CE – 1799 CE","Url":"https://chrisdeasy.com/theos/humanities/philosophy/eras-of-thought/philosophers-of-early-modern-history/philosophers-of-the-enlightenment-and-proto-industrial/"},{"Label":"Composition","Title":"1788 CE","Url":"","DateText":""}],"DateNote":"Displayed as 1788 for first publication; notes preserve novel form and Wollstonecraft\u0027s later ambivalence about the work.","GeoCards":[{"Label":"Region","Key":"Region:1"},{"Label":"Terra Avita","Key":"TerraAvita:1"},{"Label":"Terra Avita Region","Key":"TerraAvitaRegion:2"},{"Label":"Modern Country","Key":"Country:GBR:1"}],"OriginalTitle":"Mary: A Fiction","Language":"English","DisciplineCards":[{"Label":"Primary Discipline","Key":"Discipline:aesthetics"},{"Label":"Secondary Discipline","Key":"Discipline:philosophy-of-mind"}],"Tradition":"Enlightenment feminism; republican political philosophy; educational theory; moral philosophy; rational religion; literary and historical criticism","FullText":{"Title":"Full Text","Copy":"Public-domain full text from Project Gutenberg eBook #16357 .","Url":"","Label":"","Kicker":"","Cards":[]},"CoreThesis":["The novel experiments with sensibility, women\u0027s friendship, education, imagination, dependency, and the search for female independence under restrictive social norms."],"Classification":{"AlternateTitles":"Mary, A Fiction","KeyConcepts":"sensibility; women\u0027s friendship; imagination; dependency; marriage; female agency; fiction; moral psychology","Methodology":"Source-backed Wollstonecraft work cluster; public texts are evidence only.","Structure":"Work page with title forms, integer year, notes, links, and no full text."},"Arguments":["The novel experiments with sensibility, women\u0027s friendship, education, imagination, dependency, and the search for female independence under restrictive social norms."],"Influence":{"InfluencedBy":"Richard Price, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, John Locke, Catharine Macaulay, Joseph Johnson\u0027s dissenting circle, Enlightenment moral philosophy, Anglican and rational Christian reform, and French Revolutionary politics.","InfluenceOn":""},"Significance":["Accepted as a direct Wollstonecraft work from SEP, Gutenberg, Wikisource, Commons title-page evidence, and catalog rows.","The work remains relevant to feminist philosophy, education, moral psychology, political equality, citizenship, literary form, rights discourse, and the relation of reason, passion, virtue, and social institutions."],"EvidenceNote":["Accepted as a direct Wollstonecraft work from SEP, Gutenberg, Wikisource, Commons title-page evidence, and catalog rows."],"MainSections":[{"Kind":"RawSection","Title":"Full Versions","BodyHtml":"\u003cdiv class=\"dz-philo__full-version-grid\"\u003e\n \u003carticle class=\"dz-philo__full-version-card\"\u003e\n \u003cp class=\"dz-philo__full-version-provider\"\u003eProject Gutenberg\u003c/p\u003e\n \u003ch3 class=\"dz-philo__full-version-title\"\u003eProject Gutenberg eBook #16357\u003c/h3\u003e\n \u003cp class=\"dz-philo__full-version-meta\"\u003eHtmlText · Imported\u003c/p\u003e\n \u003ca class=\"dz-philo__full-version-link\" href=\"https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/16357\"\u003eOpen full version\u003c/a\u003e\n \u003c/article\u003e\n \u003c/div\u003e"},{"Kind":"TextSection","Title":"Core Thesis","Paragraphs":["The novel experiments with sensibility, women\u0027s friendship, education, imagination, dependency, and the search for female independence under restrictive social norms."]},{"Kind":"FieldSection","Title":"Classification","Fields":[{"Label":"Alternate Titles","Value":"Mary, A Fiction"},{"Label":"Key Concepts","Value":"sensibility; women\u0027s friendship; imagination; dependency; marriage; female agency; fiction; moral psychology"},{"Label":"Methodology","Value":"Source-backed Wollstonecraft work cluster; public texts are evidence only."},{"Label":"Structure","Value":"Work page with title forms, integer year, notes, links, and no full text."}]},{"Kind":"TextSection","Title":"Arguments","Paragraphs":["The novel experiments with sensibility, women\u0027s friendship, education, imagination, dependency, and the search for female independence under restrictive social norms."]},{"Kind":"FieldSection","Title":"Influence","Fields":[{"Label":"Influenced By","Value":"Richard Price, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, John Locke, Catharine Macaulay, Joseph Johnson\u0027s dissenting circle, Enlightenment moral philosophy, Anglican and rational Christian reform, and French Revolutionary politics."},{"Label":"Influence On","Value":"Feminist philosophy, women\u0027s rights theory, republican political thought, education theory, liberal feminism, literary feminism, Mary Shelley, nineteenth-century feminism, and modern capability and equality debates."}]},{"Kind":"TextSection","Title":"Significance","Paragraphs":["Accepted as a direct Wollstonecraft work from SEP, Gutenberg, Wikisource, Commons title-page evidence, and catalog rows.","The work remains relevant to feminist philosophy, education, moral psychology, political equality, citizenship, literary form, rights discourse, and the relation of reason, passion, virtue, and social institutions."]},{"Kind":"TextSection","Title":"Evidence Note","Paragraphs":["Accepted as a direct Wollstonecraft work from SEP, Gutenberg, Wikisource, Commons title-page evidence, and catalog rows."]},{"Kind":"RawSection","Title":"Full Text","BodyHtml":"\u003cp class=\"dz-philo__section-copy dz-philo__full-text-source\"\u003ePublic-domain full text from \u003ca href=\"https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/16357\"\u003eProject Gutenberg eBook #16357\u003c/a\u003e.\u003c/p\u003e\n \u003carticle class=\"dz-philo__full-text-body\"\u003e\r\n\u003ch1\u003eMARY,\u003c/h1\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003ch3\u003eA\u003cbr /\u003e\r\nFICTION.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u0026nbsp;\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u0026nbsp;\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003ch4\u003eL\u0027exercice des plus sublimes vertus \u0026eacute;leve et nourrit le g\u0026eacute;nie.\u0026mdash;Rousseau.\u003c/h4\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u0026nbsp;\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u0026nbsp;\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp class=\u0027center\u0027\u003e\u003cb\u003eLONDON,\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp class=\u0027center\u0027\u003ePRINTED FOR J. JOHNSON, ST. PAUL\u0027S CHURCH-YARD.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp class=\u0027center\u0027\u003eMDCCLXXXVIII.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u0026nbsp;\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv class=\u0027center\u0027\u003e\r\n\u003ctable border=\"0\" cellpadding=\"4\" cellspacing=\"0\" summary=\"\"\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#ADVERTISEMENT\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eADVERTISEMENT.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_I\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. I.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_II\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. II.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_III\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. III.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_IV\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. IV.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_V\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. V.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_VI\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. VI.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_VII\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. VII.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_VIII\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. VIII.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_IX\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. IX.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_X\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. X.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_XI\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. XI.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_XII\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. XII.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_XIII\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. XIII.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_XIV\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. XIV.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_XV\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. XV.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_XVI\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. XVI.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_XVII\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. XVII.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_XVIII\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. XVIII.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_XIX\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. XIX.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_XX\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. XX.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_XXI\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. XXI.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_XXII\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. XXII.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_XXIII\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. XXIII.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_XXIV\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. XXIV.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_XXV\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. XXV.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_XXVI\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. XXVI.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_XXVII\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. XXVII.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_XXVIII\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. XXVIII.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_XXIX\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. XXIX.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_XXX\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. XXX.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\u0027left\u0027\u003e\u003ca href=\"#CHAP_XXXI\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCHAP. XXXI.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\r\n\u003c/table\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_-6\" id=\"Page_-6\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_-5\" id=\"Page_-5\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_-4\" id=\"Page_-4\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_-3\" id=\"Page_-3\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"ADVERTISEMENT\" id=\"ADVERTISEMENT\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eADVERTISEMENT.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eIn delineating the Heroine of this Fiction, the Author attempts to\r\ndevelop a character different from those generally portrayed. This woman\r\nis neither a Clarissa, a Lady G\u0026mdash;\u0026mdash;, nor a\u003ca name=\"FNanchor_A_1\" id=\"FNanchor_A_1\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\r\n\u003ca href=\"#Footnote_A_1\" class=\"fnanchor\"\u003e[A]\u003c/a\u003e Sophie.\u0026mdash;It would be vain\r\nto mention the various modifications of these models, as it would to\r\nremark, how widely artists wander from nature, when they copy the\r\noriginals of great masters. They catch the gross parts; but the subtile\u003ca name=\"Page_-2\" id=\"Page_-2\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\r\nspirit evaporates; and not having the just ties, affectation disgusts,\r\nwhen grace was expected to charm.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThose compositions only have power to delight, and carry us willing\r\ncaptives, where the soul of the author is exhibited, and animates the\r\nhidden springs. Lost in a pleasing enthusiasm, they live in the scenes\r\nthey represent; and do not measure their steps in a beaten track,\r\nsolicitous to gather expected flowers, and bind them in a wreath,\r\naccording to the prescribed rules of art.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThese chosen few, wish to speak for themselves, and not to be an\u003ca name=\"Page_-1\" id=\"Page_-1\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\r\necho\u0026mdash;even of the sweetest sounds\u0026mdash;or the reflector of the most sublime\r\nbeams. The\u003ca name=\"FNanchor_B_2\" id=\"FNanchor_B_2\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003ca href=\"#Footnote_B_2\" class=\"fnanchor\"\u003e[B]\u003c/a\u003e paradise they ramble in, must be of their own creating\u0026mdash;or\r\nthe prospect soon grows insipid, and not varied by a vivifying\r\nprinciple, fades and dies.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eIn an artless tale, without episodes, the mind of a woman, who has\r\nthinking powers is displayed. The female organs have been thought too\u003ca name=\"Page_0\" id=\"Page_0\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\r\nweak for this arduous employment; and experience seems to justify the\r\nassertion. Without arguing physically about \u003ci\u003epossibilities\u003c/i\u003e\u0026mdash;in a\r\nfiction, such a being may be allowed to exist; whose grandeur is derived\r\nfrom the operations of its own faculties, not subjugated to opinion; but\r\ndrawn by the individual from the original source.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cdiv class=\"footnotes\"\u003e\u003ch3\u003eFOOTNOTES:\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cdiv class=\"footnote\"\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Footnote_A_1\" id=\"Footnote_A_1\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003ca href=\"#FNanchor_A_1\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"label\"\u003e[A]\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/a\u003e Rousseau.\u003c/p\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cdiv class=\"footnote\"\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Footnote_B_2\" id=\"Footnote_B_2\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003ca href=\"#FNanchor_B_2\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"label\"\u003e[B]\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/a\u003e I here give the Reviewers an opportunity of being very\r\nwitty about the Paradise of Fools, \u0026amp;c.\u003c/p\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\r\n\u003c/div\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u0026nbsp;\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch1\u003eMARY\u003c/h1\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u0026nbsp;\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_I\" id=\"CHAP_I\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. I.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eMary, the heroine of this fiction, was the daughter of Edward, who\r\nmarried Eliza, a gentle, fashionable girl, with a kind of indolence in\r\nher temper, which might be termed negative good-nature: her virtues,\r\nindeed, were all of that stamp. She carefully attended to the \u003ci\u003eshews\u003c/i\u003e of\r\nthings, and her opinions, I should have said prejudices, were such as\r\nthe generality approved of. She was educated with the expectation of a\r\nlarge fortune, of course became a mere machine: the homage of her\u003ca name=\"Page_2\" id=\"Page_2\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\r\nattendants made a great part of her puerile amusements, and she never\r\nimagined there were any relative duties for her to fulfil: notions of\r\nher own consequence, by these means, were interwoven in her mind, and\r\nthe years of youth spent in acquiring a few superficial accomplishments,\r\nwithout having any taste for them. When she was first introduced into\r\nthe polite circle, she danced with an officer, whom she faintly wished\r\nto be united to; but her father soon after recommending another in a\r\nmore distinguished rank of life, she readily submitted to his will, and\r\npromised to love, honour, and obey, (a vicious fool,) as in duty bound.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eWhile they resided in London, they lived in the usual fashionable style,\r\nand seldom saw each other; nor were they much more sociable when they\r\nwooed rural felicity for more than half the year, in a delightful\u003ca name=\"Page_3\" id=\"Page_3\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\r\ncountry, where Nature, with lavish hand, had scattered beauties around;\r\nfor the master, with brute, unconscious gaze, passed them by unobserved,\r\nand sought amusement in country sports. He hunted in the morning, and\r\nafter eating an immoderate dinner, generally fell asleep: this\r\nseasonable rest enabled him to digest the cumbrous load; he would then\r\nvisit some of his pretty tenants; and when he compared their ruddy glow\r\nof health with his wife\u0027s countenance, which even rouge could not\r\nenliven, it is not necessary to say which a \u003ci\u003egourmand\u003c/i\u003e would give the\r\npreference to. Their vulgar dance of spirits were infinitely more\r\nagreeable to his fancy than her sickly, die-away languor. Her voice was\r\nbut the shadow of a sound, and she had, to complete her delicacy, so\u003ca name=\"Page_4\" id=\"Page_4\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\r\nrelaxed her nerves, that she became a mere nothing.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eMany such noughts are there in the female world! yet she had a good\r\nopinion of her own merit,\u0026mdash;truly, she said long prayers,\u0026mdash;and sometimes\r\nread her Week\u0027s Preparation: she dreaded that horrid place vulgarly\r\ncalled \u003ci\u003ehell\u003c/i\u003e, the regions below; but whether her\u0027s was a mounting\r\nspirit, I cannot pretend to determine; or what sort of a planet would\r\nhave been proper for her, when she left her \u003ci\u003ematerial\u003c/i\u003e part in this\r\nworld, let metaphysicians settle; I have nothing to say to her unclothed\r\nspirit.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eAs she was sometimes obliged to be alone, or only with her French\r\nwaiting-maid, she sent to the metropolis for all the new publications,\r\nand while she was dressing her hair, and she could turn her eyes from\r\nthe glass, she ran over \u003ca name=\"Page_5\" id=\"Page_5\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ethose most delightful substitutes for bodily\r\ndissipation, novels. I say bodily, or the animal soul, for a rational\r\none can find no employment in polite circles. The glare of lights, the\r\nstudied inelegancies of dress, and the compliments offered up at the\r\nshrine of false beauty, are all equally addressed to the senses.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eWhen she could not any longer indulge the caprices of fancy one way, she\r\ntried another. The Platonic Marriage, Eliza Warwick, and some other\r\ninteresting tales were perused with eagerness. Nothing could be more\r\nnatural than the developement of the passions, nor more striking than\r\nthe views of the human heart. What delicate struggles! and uncommonly\r\npretty turns of thought! The picture that was found on a bramble-bush,\r\nthe new sensitive-plant, or tree, which caught the swain by the\r\nupper-\u003ca name=\"Page_6\" id=\"Page_6\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003egarment, and presented to his ravished eyes a portrait.\u0026mdash;Fatal\r\nimage!\u0026mdash;It planted a thorn in a till then insensible heart, and sent a\r\nnew kind of a knight-errant into the world. But even this was nothing to\r\nthe catastrophe, and the circumstance on which it hung, the hornet\r\nsettling on the sleeping lover\u0027s face. What a \u003ci\u003eheart-rending\u003c/i\u003e accident!\r\nShe planted, in imitation of those susceptible souls, a rose bush; but\r\nthere was not a lover to weep in concert with her, when she watered it\r\nwith her tears.\u0026mdash;Alas! Alas!\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eIf my readers would excuse the sportiveness of fancy, and give me credit\r\nfor genius, I would go on and tell them such tales as would force the\r\nsweet tears of sensibility to flow in copious showers down beautiful\r\ncheeks, to the discomposure of rouge, \u0026amp;c. \u0026amp;c. Nay, I would make it so\r\ninteresting, that the \u003ca name=\"Page_7\" id=\"Page_7\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003efair peruser should beg the hair-dresser to\r\nsettle the curls himself, and not interrupt her.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe had besides another resource, two most beautiful dogs, who shared\r\nher bed, and reclined on cushions near her all the day. These she\r\nwatched with the most assiduous care, and bestowed on them the warmest\r\ncaresses. This fondness for animals was not that kind of\r\n\u003ci\u003eattendrissement\u003c/i\u003e which makes a person take pleasure in providing for\r\nthe subsistence and comfort of a living creature; but it proceeded from\r\nvanity, it gave her an opportunity of lisping out the prettiest French\r\nexpressions of ecstatic fondness, in accents that had never been attuned\r\nby tenderness.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe was chaste, according to the vulgar acceptation of the word, that\r\nis, she did not make any actual \u003ci\u003efaux pas\u003c/i\u003e; she \u003ca name=\"Page_8\" id=\"Page_8\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003efeared the world, and\r\nwas indolent; but then, to make amends for this seeming self-denial, she\r\nread all the sentimental novels, dwelt on the love-scenes, and, had she\r\nthought while she read, her mind would have been contaminated; as she\r\naccompanied the lovers to the lonely arbors, and would walk with them by\r\nthe clear light of the moon. She wondered her husband did not stay at\r\nhome. She was jealous\u0026mdash;why did he not love her, sit by her side, squeeze\r\nher hand, and look unutterable things? Gentle reader, I will tell thee;\r\nthey neither of them felt what they could not utter. I will not pretend\r\nto say that they always annexed an idea to a word; but they had none of\r\nthose feelings which are not easily analyzed.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_9\" id=\"Page_9\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_II\" id=\"CHAP_II\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. II.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eIn due time she brought forth a son, a feeble babe; and the following\r\nyear a daughter. After the mother\u0027s throes she felt very few sentiments\r\nof maternal tenderness: the children were given to nurses, and she\r\nplayed with her dogs. Want of exercise prevented the least chance of her\r\nrecovering strength; and two or three milk-fevers brought on a\r\nconsumption, to which her constitution tended. Her children all died in\r\ntheir infancy, except the two first, and she began to grow fond of the\r\nson, as he was remarkably handsome. For years she divided her time\r\nbetween the sofa, and the card-table. She thought not of \u003ca name=\"Page_10\" id=\"Page_10\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003edeath, though\r\non the borders of the grave; nor did any of the duties of her station\r\noccur to her as necessary. Her children were left in the nursery; and\r\nwhen Mary, the little blushing girl, appeared, she would send the\r\nawkward thing away. To own the truth, she was awkward enough, in a house\r\nwithout any play-mates; for her brother had been sent to school, and she\r\nscarcely knew how to employ herself; she would ramble about the garden,\r\nadmire the flowers, and play with the dogs. An old house-keeper told her\r\nstories, read to her, and, at last, taught her to read. Her mother\r\ntalked of enquiring for a governess when her health would permit; and,\r\nin the interim desired her own maid to teach her French. As she had\r\nlearned to read, she perused with avidity every book that came in her\r\nway. Neglected in \u003ca name=\"Page_11\" id=\"Page_11\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eevery respect, and left to the operations of her own\r\nmind, she considered every thing that came under her inspection, and\r\nlearned to think. She had heard of a separate state, and that angels\r\nsometimes visited this earth. She would sit in a thick wood in the park,\r\nand talk to them; make little songs addressed to them, and sing them to\r\ntunes of her own composing; and her native wood notes wild were sweet\r\nand touching.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHer father always exclaimed against female acquirements, and was glad\r\nthat his wife\u0027s indolence and ill health made her not trouble herself\r\nabout them. She had besides another reason, she did not wish to have a\r\nfine tall girl brought forward into notice as her daughter; she still\r\nexpected to recover, and figure away in the gay world. Her husband was\r\nvery tyrannical and passionate; indeed so \u003ca name=\"Page_12\" id=\"Page_12\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003every easily irritated when\r\ninebriated, that Mary was continually in dread lest he should frighten\r\nher mother to death; her sickness called forth all Mary\u0027s tenderness,\r\nand exercised her compassion so continually, that it became more than a\r\nmatch for self-love, and was the governing propensity of her heart\r\nthrough life. She was violent in her temper; but she saw her father\u0027s\r\nfaults, and would weep when obliged to compare his temper with her\r\nown.\u0026mdash;She did more; artless prayers rose to Heaven for pardon, when she\r\nwas conscious of having erred; and her contrition was so exceedingly\r\npainful, that she watched diligently the first movements of anger and\r\nimpatience, to save herself this cruel remorse.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eSublime ideas filled her young mind\u0026mdash;always connected with devotional\r\nsentiments; extemporary effusions of grati\u003ca name=\"Page_13\" id=\"Page_13\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003etude, and rhapsodies of\r\npraise would burst often from her, when she listened to the birds, or\r\npursued the deer. She would gaze on the moon, and ramble through the\r\ngloomy path, observing the various shapes the clouds assumed, and listen\r\nto the sea that was not far distant. The wandering spirits, which she\r\nimagined inhabited every part of nature, were her constant friends and\r\nconfidants. She began to consider the Great First Cause, formed just\r\nnotions of his attributes, and, in particular, dwelt on his wisdom and\r\ngoodness. Could she have loved her father or mother, had they returned\r\nher affection, she would not so soon, perhaps, have sought out a new\r\nworld.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHer sensibility prompted her to search for an object to love; on earth\r\nit was not to be found: her mother had often disappointed her, and the\r\napparent par\u003ca name=\"Page_14\" id=\"Page_14\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003etiality she shewed to her brother gave her exquisite\r\npain\u0026mdash;produced a kind of habitual melancholy, led her into a fondness\r\nfor reading tales of woe, and made her almost realize the fictitious\r\ndistress.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe had not any notion of death till a little chicken expired at her\r\nfeet; and her father had a dog hung in a passion. She then concluded\r\nanimals had souls, or they would not have been subjected to the caprice\r\nof man; but what was the soul of man or beast? In this style year after\r\nyear rolled on, her mother still vegetating.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eA little girl who attended in the nursery fell sick. Mary paid her great\r\nattention; contrary to her wish, she was sent out of the house to her\r\nmother, a poor woman, whom necessity obliged to leave her sick child\r\nwhile she earned her daily bread. The poor wretch, in a \u003ca name=\"Page_15\" id=\"Page_15\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003efit of delirium\r\nstabbed herself, and Mary saw her dead body, and heard the dismal\r\naccount; and so strongly did it impress her imagination, that every\r\nnight of her life the bleeding corpse presented itself to her when the\r\nfirst began to slumber. Tortured by it, she at last made a vow, that if\r\nshe was ever mistress of a family she would herself watch over every\r\npart of it. The impression that this accident made was indelible.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eAs her mother grew imperceptibly worse and worse, her father, who did\r\nnot understand such a lingering complaint, imagined his wife was only\r\ngrown still more whimsical, and that if she could be prevailed on to\r\nexert herself, her health would soon be re-established. In general he\r\ntreated her with indifference; but when her illness at all interfered\r\nwith his pleasures, he expostulated in the most \u003ca name=\"Page_16\" id=\"Page_16\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ecruel manner, and\r\nvisibly harassed the invalid. Mary would then assiduously try to turn\r\nhis attention to something else; and when sent out of the room, would\r\nwatch at the door, until the storm was over, for unless it was, she\r\ncould not rest. Other causes also contributed to disturb her repose: her\r\nmother\u0027s luke-warm manner of performing her religious duties, filled her\r\nwith anguish; and when she observed her father\u0027s vices, the unbidden\r\ntears would flow. She was miserable when beggars were driven from the\r\ngate without being relieved; if she could do it unperceived, she would\r\ngive them her own breakfast, and feel gratified, when, in consequence of\r\nit, she was pinched by hunger.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe had once, or twice, told her little secrets to her mother; they were\r\nlaughed at, and she determined never to do it \u003ca name=\"Page_17\" id=\"Page_17\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eagain. In this manner was\r\nshe left to reflect on her own feelings; and so strengthened were they\r\nby being meditated on, that her character early became singular and\r\npermanent. Her understanding was strong and clear, when not clouded by\r\nher feelings; but she was too much the creature of impulse, and the\r\nslave of compassion.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_18\" id=\"Page_18\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_III\" id=\"CHAP_III\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. III.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eNear her father\u0027s house lived a poor widow, who had been brought up in\r\naffluence, but reduced to great distress by the extravagance of her\r\nhusband; he had destroyed his constitution while he spent his fortune;\r\nand dying, left his wife, and five small children, to live on a very\r\nscanty pittance. The eldest daughter was for some years educated by a\r\ndistant relation, a Clergyman. While she was with him a young gentleman,\r\nson to a man of property in the neighbourhood, took particular notice of\r\nher. It is true, he never talked of love; but then they played and sung\r\nin concert; drew landscapes together, and while she worked he read to\r\nher, culti\u003ca name=\"Page_19\" id=\"Page_19\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003evated her taste, and stole imperceptibly her heart. Just at\r\nthis juncture, when smiling, unanalyzed hope made every prospect bright,\r\nand gay expectation danced in her eyes, her benefactor died. She\r\nreturned to her mother\u0026mdash;the companion of her youth forgot her, they took\r\nno more sweet counsel together. This disappointment spread a sadness\r\nover her countenance, and made it interesting. She grew fond of\r\nsolitude, and her character appeared similar to Mary\u0027s, though her\r\nnatural disposition was very different.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe was several years older than Mary, yet her refinement, her taste,\r\ncaught her eye, and she eagerly sought her friendship: before her return\r\nshe had assisted the family, which was almost reduced to the last ebb;\r\nand now she had another motive to actuate her.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_20\" id=\"Page_20\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eAs she had often occasion to send messages to Ann, her new friend,\r\nmistakes were frequently made; Ann proposed that in future they should\r\nbe written ones, to obviate this difficulty, and render their\r\nintercourse more agreeable. Young people are mostly fond of scribbling;\r\nMary had had very little instruction; but by copying her friend\u0027s\r\nletters, whose hand she admired, she soon became a proficient; a little\r\npractice made her write with tolerable correctness, and her genius gave\r\nforce to it. In conversation, and in writing, when she felt, she was\r\npathetic, tender and persuasive; and she expressed contempt with such\r\nenergy, that few could stand the flash of her eyes.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eAs she grew more intimate with Ann, her manners were softened, and she\r\nacquired a degree of equality in her behaviour: yet still her spirits\r\nwere fluc\u003ca name=\"Page_21\" id=\"Page_21\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003etuating, and her movements rapid. She felt less pain on\r\naccount of her mother\u0027s partiality to her brother, as she hoped now to\r\nexperience the pleasure of being beloved; but this hope led her into new\r\nsorrows, and, as usual, paved the way for disappointment. Ann only felt\r\ngratitude; her heart was entirely engrossed by one object, and\r\nfriendship could not serve as a substitute; memory officiously retraced\r\npast scenes, and unavailing wishes made time loiter.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eMary was often hurt by the involuntary indifference which these\r\nconsequences produced. When her friend was all the world to her, she\r\nfound she was not as necessary to her happiness; and her delicate mind\r\ncould not bear to obtrude her affection, or receive love as an alms, the\r\noffspring of pity. Very frequently has she ran to her with de\u003ca name=\"Page_22\" id=\"Page_22\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003elight, and\r\nnot perceiving any thing of the same kind in Ann\u0027s countenance, she has\r\nshrunk back; and, falling from one extreme into the other, instead of a\r\nwarm greeting that was just slipping from her tongue, her expressions\r\nseemed to be dictated by the most chilling insensibility.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe would then imagine that she looked sickly or unhappy, and then all\r\nher tenderness would return like a torrent, and bear away all\r\nreflection. In this manner was her sensibility called forth, and\r\nexercised, by her mother\u0027s illness, her friend\u0027s misfortunes, and her\r\nown unsettled mind.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_23\" id=\"Page_23\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_IV\" id=\"CHAP_IV\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. IV.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eNear to her father\u0027s house was a range of mountains; some of them were,\r\nliterally speaking, cloud-capt, for on them clouds continually rested,\r\nand gave grandeur to the prospect; and down many of their sides the\r\nlittle bubbling cascades ran till they swelled a beautiful river.\r\nThrough the straggling trees and bushes the wind whistled, and on them\r\nthe birds sung, particularly the robins; they also found shelter in the\r\nivy of an old castle, a haunted one, as the story went; it was situated\r\non the brow of one of the mountains, and commanded a view of the sea.\r\nThis castle had been inhabited by some of her ancestors; and \u003ca name=\"Page_24\" id=\"Page_24\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003emany tales\r\nhad the old house-keeper told her of the worthies who had resided there.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eWhen her mother frowned, and her friend looked cool, she would steal to\r\nthis retirement, where human foot seldom trod\u0026mdash;gaze on the sea, observe\r\nthe grey clouds, or listen to the wind which struggled to free itself\r\nfrom the only thing that impeded its course. When more cheerful, she\r\nadmired the various dispositions of light and shade, the beautiful tints\r\nthe gleams of sunshine gave to the distant hills; then she rejoiced in\r\nexistence, and darted into futurity.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eOne way home was through the cavity of a rock covered with a thin layer\r\nof earth, just sufficient to afford nourishment to a few stunted shrubs\r\nand wild plants, which grew on its sides, and nodded over the summit. A\r\nclear stream broke out \u003ca name=\"Page_25\" id=\"Page_25\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eof it, and ran amongst the pieces of rocks\r\nfallen into it. Here twilight always reigned\u0026mdash;it seemed the Temple of\r\nSolitude; yet, paradoxical as the assertion may appear, when the foot\r\nsounded on the rock, it terrified the intruder, and inspired a strange\r\nfeeling, as if the rightful sovereign was dislodged. In this retreat she\r\nread Thomson\u0027s Seasons, Young\u0027s Night-Thoughts, and Paradise Lost.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eAt a little distance from it were the huts of a few poor fishermen, who\r\nsupported their numerous children by their precarious labour. In these\r\nlittle huts she frequently rested, and denied herself every childish\r\ngratification, in order to relieve the necessities of the inhabitants.\r\nHer heart yearned for them, and would dance with joy when she had\r\nrelieved their wants, or afforded them pleasure.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_26\" id=\"Page_26\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eIn these pursuits she learned the luxury of doing good; and the sweet\r\ntears of benevolence frequently moistened her eyes, and gave them a\r\nsparkle which, exclusive of that, they had not; on the contrary, they\r\nwere rather fixed, and would never have been observed if her soul had\r\nnot animated them. They were not at all like those brilliant ones which\r\nlook like polished diamonds, and dart from every superfice, giving more\r\nlight to the beholders than they receive themselves.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHer benevolence, indeed, knew no bounds; the distress of others carried\r\nher out of herself; and she rested not till she had relieved or\r\ncomforted them. The warmth of her compassion often made her so diligent,\r\nthat many things occurred to her, which might have escaped a less\r\ninterested observer.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_27\" id=\"Page_27\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eIn like manner, she entered with such spirit into whatever she read,\r\nand the emotions thereby raised were so strong, that it soon became a\r\npart of her mind.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eEnthusiastic sentiments of devotion at this period actuated her; her\r\nCreator was almost apparent to her senses in his works; but they were\r\nmostly the grand or solemn features of Nature which she delighted to\r\ncontemplate. She would stand and behold the waves rolling, and think of\r\nthe voice that could still the tumultuous deep.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThese propensities gave the colour to her mind, before the passions\r\nbegan to exercise their tyrannic sway, and particularly pointed out\r\nthose which the soil would have a tendency to nurse.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eYears after, when wandering through the same scenes, her imagination has\r\nstrayed back, to trace the first placid \u003ca name=\"Page_28\" id=\"Page_28\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003esentiments they inspired, and\r\nshe would earnestly desire to regain the same peaceful tranquillity.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eMany nights she sat up, if I may be allowed the expression, \u003ci\u003econversing\u003c/i\u003e\r\nwith the Author of Nature, making verses, and singing hymns of her own\r\ncomposing. She considered also, and tried to discern what end her\r\nvarious faculties were destined to pursue; and had a glimpse of a truth,\r\nwhich afterwards more fully unfolded itself.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe thought that only an infinite being could fill the human soul, and\r\nthat when other objects were followed as a means of happiness, the\r\ndelusion led to misery, the consequence of disappointment. Under the\r\ninfluence of ardent affections, how often has she forgot this\r\nconviction, and as often returned to it again, when it struck her with\r\nredoubled \u003ca name=\"Page_29\" id=\"Page_29\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eforce. Often did she taste unmixed delight; her joys, her\r\necstacies arose from genius.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe was now fifteen, and she wished to receive the holy sacrament; and\r\nperusing the scriptures, and discussing some points of doctrine which\r\npuzzled her, she would sit up half the night, her favourite time for\r\nemploying her mind; she too plainly perceived that she saw through a\r\nglass darkly; and that the bounds set to stop our intellectual\r\nresearches, is one of the trials of a probationary state.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eBut her affections were roused by the display of divine mercy; and she\r\neagerly desired to commemorate the dying love of her great benefactor.\r\nThe night before the important day, when she was to take on herself her\r\nbaptismal vow, she could not go to bed; the sun broke in on her\r\n\u003ca name=\"Page_30\" id=\"Page_30\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003emeditations, and found her not exhausted by her watching.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe orient pearls were strewed around\u0026mdash;she hailed the morn, and sung\r\nwith wild delight, Glory to God on high, good will towards men. She was\r\nindeed so much affected when she joined in the prayer for her eternal\r\npreservation, that she could hardly conceal her violent emotions; and\r\nthe recollection never failed to wake her dormant piety when earthly\r\npassions made it grow languid.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThese various movements of her mind were not commented on, nor were the\r\nluxuriant shoots restrained by culture. The servants and the poor adored\r\nher.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eIn order to be enabled to gratify herself in the highest degree, she\r\npracticed the most rigid \u0026#339;conomy, and had such power over her\r\nappetites and whims, that without any great effort she conquered \u003ca name=\"Page_31\" id=\"Page_31\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ethem\r\nso entirely, that when her understanding or affections had an object,\r\nshe almost forgot she had a body which required nourishment.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThis habit of thinking, this kind of absorption, gave strength to the\r\npassions.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eWe will now enter on the more active field of life.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_32\" id=\"Page_32\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_V\" id=\"CHAP_V\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. V.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eA few months after Mary was turned of seventeen, her brother was\r\nattacked by a violent fever, and died before his father could reach the\r\nschool.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe was now an heiress, and her mother began to think her of\r\nconsequence, and did not call her \u003ci\u003ethe child\u003c/i\u003e. Proper masters were sent\r\nfor; she was taught to dance, and an extraordinary master procured to\r\nperfect her in that most necessary of all accomplishments.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eA part of the estate she was to inherit had been litigated, and the heir\r\nof the person who still carried on a Chancery suit, was only two years\r\nyounger than our heroine. The fathers, spite of the \u003ca name=\"Page_33\" id=\"Page_33\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003edispute, frequently\r\nmet, and, in order to settle it amicably, they one day, over a bottle,\r\ndetermined to quash it by a marriage, and, by uniting the two estates,\r\nto preclude all farther enquiries into the merits of their different\r\nclaims.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eWhile this important matter was settling, Mary was otherwise employed.\r\nAnn\u0027s mother\u0027s resources were failing; and the ghastly phantom, poverty,\r\nmade hasty strides to catch them in his clutches. Ann had not fortitude\r\nenough to brave such accumulated misery; besides, the canker-worm was\r\nlodged in her heart, and preyed on her health. She denied herself every\r\nlittle comfort; things that would be no sacrifice when a person is well,\r\nare absolutely necessary to alleviate bodily pain, and support the\r\nanimal functions.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_34\" id=\"Page_34\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eThere were many elegant amusements, that she had acquired a relish for,\r\nwhich might have taken her mind off from its most destructive bent; but\r\nthese her indigence would not allow her to enjoy: forced then, by way of\r\nrelaxation, to play the tunes her lover admired, and handle the pencil\r\nhe taught her to hold, no wonder his image floated on her imagination,\r\nand that taste invigorated love.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003ePoverty, and all its inelegant attendants, were in her mother\u0027s abode;\r\nand she, though a good sort of a woman, was not calculated to banish, by\r\nher trivial, uninteresting chat, the delirium in which her daughter was\r\nlost.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThis ill-fated love had given a bewitching softness to her manners, a\r\ndelicacy so truly feminine, that a man of any feeling could not behold\r\nher without wishing to chase her sorrows away.\u003ca name=\"Page_35\" id=\"Page_35\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e She was timid and\r\nirresolute, and rather fond of dissipation; grief only had power to make\r\nher reflect.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eIn every thing it was not the great, but the beautiful, or the pretty,\r\nthat caught her attention. And in composition, the polish of style, and\r\nharmony of numbers, interested her much more than the flights of genius,\r\nor abstracted speculations.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe often wondered at the books Mary chose, who, though she had a lively\r\nimagination, would frequently study authors whose works were addressed\r\nto the understanding. This liking taught her to arrange her thoughts,\r\nand argue with herself, even when under the influence of the most\r\nviolent passions.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eAnn\u0027s misfortunes and ill health were strong ties to bind Mary to her;\r\nshe wished so continually to have a home to \u003ca name=\"Page_36\" id=\"Page_36\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ereceive her in, that it\r\ndrove every other desire out of her mind; and, dwelling on the tender\r\nschemes which compassion and friendship dictated, she longed most\r\nardently to put them in practice.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eFondly as she loved her friend, she did not forget her mother, whose\r\ndecline was so imperceptible, that they were not aware of her\r\napproaching dissolution. The physician, however, observing the most\r\nalarming symptoms; her husband was apprised of her immediate danger; and\r\nthen first mentioned to her his designs with respect to his daughter.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe approved of them; Mary was sent for; she was not at home; she had\r\nrambled to visit Ann, and found her in an hysteric fit. The landlord of\r\nher little farm had sent his agent for the rent, which had long been due\r\nto him; and he threatened to seize the stock that still \u003ca name=\"Page_37\" id=\"Page_37\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eremained, and\r\nturn them out, if they did not very shortly discharge the arrears.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eAs this man made a private fortune by harassing the tenants of the\r\nperson to whom he was deputy, little was to be expected from his\r\nforbearance.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eAll this was told to Mary\u0026mdash;and the mother added, she had many other\r\ncreditors who would, in all probability, take the alarm, and snatch from\r\nthem all that had been saved out of the wreck. \"I could bear all,\" she\r\ncried; \"but what will become of my children? Of this child,\" pointing to\r\nthe fainting Ann, \"whose constitution is already undermined by care and\r\ngrief\u0026mdash;where will she go?\"\u0026mdash;Mary\u0027s heart ceased to beat while she asked\r\nthe question\u0026mdash;She attempted to speak; but the inarticulate sounds died\r\naway. Before she had recovered herself, her father called him\u003ca name=\"Page_38\" id=\"Page_38\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eself to\r\nenquire for her; and desired her instantly to accompany him home.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eEngrossed by the scene of misery she had been witness to, she walked\r\nsilently by his side, when he roused her out of her reverie by telling\r\nher that in all likelihood her mother had not many hours to live; and\r\nbefore she could return him any answer, informed her that they had both\r\ndetermined to marry her to Charles, his friend\u0027s son; he added, the\r\nceremony was to be performed directly, that her mother might be witness\r\nof it; for such a desire she had expressed with childish eagerness.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eOverwhelmed by this intelligence, Mary rolled her eyes about, then, with\r\na vacant stare, fixed them on her father\u0027s face; but they were no longer\r\na sense; they conveyed no ideas to the brain. As she drew near the\r\nhouse, her wonted presence \u003ca name=\"Page_39\" id=\"Page_39\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003epresence of mind returned: after this\r\nsuspension of thought, a thousand darted into her mind,\u0026mdash;her dying\r\nmother,\u0026mdash;her friend\u0027s miserable situation,\u0026mdash;and an extreme horror at\r\ntaking\u0026mdash;at being forced to take, such a hasty step; but she did not feel\r\nthe disgust, the reluctance, which arises from a prior attachment.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe loved Ann better than any one in the world\u0026mdash;to snatch her from the\r\nvery jaws of destruction\u0026mdash;she would have encountered a lion. To have\r\nthis friend constantly with her; to make her mind easy with respect to\r\nher family, would it not be superlative bliss?\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eFull of these thoughts she entered her mother\u0027s chamber, but they then\r\nfled at the sight of a dying parent. She went to her, took her hand; it\r\nfeebly pressed her\u0027s. \"My child,\" said the languid mother: the words\r\nreached her heart; \u003ca name=\"Page_40\" id=\"Page_40\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eshe had seldom heard them pronounced with accents\r\ndenoting affection; \"My child, I have not always treated you with\r\nkindness\u0026mdash;God forgive me! do you?\"\u0026mdash;Mary\u0027s tears strayed in a\r\ndisregarded stream; on her bosom the big drops fell, but did not relieve\r\nthe fluttering tenant. \"I forgive you!\" said she, in a tone of\r\nastonishment.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe clergyman came in to read the service for the sick, and afterwards\r\nthe marriage ceremony was performed. Mary stood like a statue of\r\nDespair, and pronounced the awful vow without thinking of it; and then\r\nran to support her mother, who expired the same night in her arms.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHer husband set off for the continent the same day, with a tutor, to\r\nfinish his studies at one of the foreign universities.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_41\" id=\"Page_41\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eAnn was sent for to console her, not on account of the departure of her\r\nnew relation, a boy she seldom took any notice of, but to reconcile her\r\nto her fate; besides, it was necessary she should have a female\r\ncompanion, and there was not any maiden aunt in the family, or cousin of\r\nthe same class.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_42\" id=\"Page_42\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_VI\" id=\"CHAP_VI\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. VI.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eMary was allowed to pay the rent which gave her so much uneasiness, and\r\nshe exerted every nerve to prevail on her father effectually to succour\r\nthe family; but the utmost she could obtain was a small sum very\r\ninadequate to the purpose, to enable the poor woman to carry into\r\nexecution a little scheme of industry near the metropolis.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHer intention of leaving that part of the country, had much more weight\r\nwith him, than Mary\u0027s arguments, drawn from motives of philanthropy and\r\nfriendship; this was a language he did not understand; expressive of\r\noccult qualities \u003ca name=\"Page_43\" id=\"Page_43\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ehe never thought of, as they could not be seen or\r\nfelt.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eAfter the departure of her mother, Ann still continued to languish,\r\nthough she had a nurse who was entirely engrossed by the desire of\r\namusing her. Had her health been re-established, the time would have\r\npassed in a tranquil, improving manner.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eDuring the year of mourning they lived in retirement; music, drawing,\r\nand reading, filled up the time; and Mary\u0027s taste and judgment were both\r\nimproved by contracting a habit of observation, and permitting the\r\nsimple beauties of Nature to occupy her thoughts.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe had a wonderful quickness in discerning distinctions and combining\r\nideas, that at the first glance did not appear to be similar. But these\r\nvarious pursuits \u003ca name=\"Page_44\" id=\"Page_44\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003edid not banish all her cares, or carry off all her\r\nconstitutional black bile. Before she enjoyed Ann\u0027s society, she\r\nimagined it would have made her completely happy: she was disappointed,\r\nand yet knew not what to complain of.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eAs her friend could not accompany her in her walks, and wished to be\r\nalone, for a very obvious reason, she would return to her old haunts,\r\nretrace her anticipated pleasures\u0026mdash;-and wonder how they changed their\r\ncolour in possession, and proved so futile.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe had not yet found the companion she looked for. Ann and she were not\r\ncongenial minds, nor did she contribute to her comfort in the degree she\r\nexpected. She shielded her from poverty; but this was only a negative\r\nblessing; when under the pressure it was very grievous, and still more\r\nso were the apprehensions; but when \u003ca name=\"Page_45\" id=\"Page_45\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ewhen exempt from them, she was not\r\ncontented.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eSuch is human nature, its laws were not to be inverted to gratify our\r\nheroine, and stop the progress of her understanding, happiness only\r\nflourished in paradise\u0026mdash;we cannot taste and live.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eAnother year passed away with increasing apprehensions. Ann had a hectic\r\ncough, and many unfavourable prognostics: Mary then forgot every thing\r\nbut the fear of losing her, and even imagined that her recovery would\r\nhave made her happy.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHer anxiety led her to study physic, and for some time she only read\r\nbooks of that cast; and this knowledge, literally speaking, ended in\r\nvanity and vexation of spirit, as it enabled her to foresee what she\r\ncould not prevent.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eAs her mind expanded, her marriage appeared \u003ca name=\"Page_46\" id=\"Page_46\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eappeared a dreadful\r\nmisfortune; she was sometimes reminded of the heavy yoke, and bitter was\r\nthe recollection!\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eIn one thing there seemed to be a sympathy between them, for she wrote\r\nformal answers to his as formal letters. An extreme dislike took root in\r\nher mind; the found of his name made her turn sick; but she forgot all,\r\nlistening to Ann\u0027s cough, and supporting her languid frame. She would\r\nthen catch her to her bosom with convulsive eagerness, as if to save her\r\nfrom sinking into an opening grave.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_47\" id=\"Page_47\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_VII\" id=\"CHAP_VII\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. VII.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eIt was the will of Providence that Mary should experience almost every\r\nspecies of sorrow. Her father was thrown from his horse, when his blood\r\nwas in a very inflammatory state, and the bruises were very dangerous;\r\nhis recovery was not expected by the physical tribe.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eTerrified at seeing him so near death, and yet so ill prepared for it,\r\nhis daughter sat by his bed, oppressed by the keenest anguish, which her\r\npiety increased.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHer grief had nothing selfish in it; he was not a friend or protector;\r\nbut he was her father, an unhappy wretch, going into eternity, depraved\r\nand thought\u003ca name=\"Page_48\" id=\"Page_48\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eless. Could a life of sensuality be a preparation for a\r\npeaceful death? Thus meditating, she passed the still midnight hour by\r\nhis bedside.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe nurse fell asleep, nor did a violent thunder storm interrupt her\r\nrepose, though it made the night appear still more terrific to Mary. Her\r\nfather\u0027s unequal breathing alarmed her, when she heard a long drawn\r\nbreath, she feared it was his last, and watching for another, a dreadful\r\npeal of thunder struck her ears. Considering the separation of the soul\r\nand body, this night seemed sadly solemn, and the hours long.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eDeath is indeed a king of terrors when he attacks the vicious man! The\r\ncompassionate heart finds not any comfort; but dreads an eternal\r\nseparation. No transporting greetings are anticipated, when the\r\nsurvivors also shall have finished their \u003ca name=\"Page_49\" id=\"Page_49\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003etheir course; but all is\r\nblack!\u0026mdash;the grave may truly be said to receive the departed\u0026mdash;this is the\r\nsting of death!\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eNight after night Mary watched, and this excessive fatigue impaired her\r\nown health, but had a worse effect on Ann; though she constantly went to\r\nbed, she could not rest; a number of uneasy thoughts obtruded\r\nthemselves; and apprehensions about Mary, whom she loved as well as her\r\nexhausted heart could love, harassed her mind. After a sleepless,\r\nfeverish night she had a violent fit of coughing, and burst a\r\nblood-vessel. The physician, who was in the house, was sent for, and\r\nwhen he left the patient, Mary, with an authoritative voice, insisted on\r\nknowing his real opinion. Reluctantly he gave it, that her friend was in\r\na critical state; and if she passed the approaching winter in England,\r\nhe \u003ca name=\"Page_50\" id=\"Page_50\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eimagined she would die in the spring; a season fatal to consumptive\r\ndisorders. The spring!\u0026mdash;Her husband was then expected.\u0026mdash;Gracious Heaven,\r\ncould she bear all this.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eIn a few days her father breathed his last. The horrid sensations his\r\ndeath occasioned were too poignant to be durable: and Ann\u0027s danger, and\r\nher own situation, made Mary deliberate what mode of conduct she should\r\npursue. She feared this event might hasten the return of her husband,\r\nand prevent her putting into execution a plan she had determined on. It\r\nwas to accompany Ann to a more salubrious climate.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_51\" id=\"Page_51\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_VIII\" id=\"CHAP_VIII\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. VIII.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eI mentioned before, that Mary had never had any particular attachment,\r\nto give rise to the disgust that daily gained ground. Her friendship for\r\nAnn occupied her heart, and resembled a passion. She had had, indeed,\r\nseveral transient likings; but they did not amount to love. The society\r\nof men of genius delighted her, and improved her faculties. With beings\r\nof this class she did not often meet; it is a rare genus; her first\r\nfavourites were men past the meridian of life, and of a philosophic\r\nturn.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eDetermined on going to the South of France, or Lisbon; she wrote to the\r\nman she had promised to obey. The \u003ca name=\"Page_52\" id=\"Page_52\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ephysicians had said change of air was\r\nnecessary for her as well as her friend. She mentioned this, and added,\r\n\"Her comfort, almost her existence, depended on the recovery of the\r\ninvalid she wished to attend; and that should she neglect to follow the\r\nmedical advice she had received, she should never forgive herself, or\r\nthose who endeavoured to prevent her.\" Full of her design, she wrote\r\nwith more than usual freedom; and this letter was like most of her\r\nothers, a transcript of her heart.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"This dear friend,\" she exclaimed, \"I love for her agreeable qualities,\r\nand substantial virtues. Continual attention to her health, and the\r\ntender office of a nurse, have created an affection very like a maternal\r\none\u0026mdash;I am her only support, she leans on me\u0026mdash;\u003ca name=\"Page_53\" id=\"Page_53\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ecould I forsake the\r\nforsaken, and break the bruised reed\u0026mdash;No\u0026mdash;I would die first! I must\u0026mdash;I\r\nwill go.\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe would have added, \"you would very much oblige me by consenting;\" but\r\nher heart revolted\u0026mdash;and irresolutely she wrote something about wishing\r\nhim happy.\u0026mdash;\"Do I not wish all the world well?\" she cried, as she\r\nsubscribed her name\u0026mdash;It was blotted, the letter sealed in a hurry, and\r\nsent out of her sight; and she began to prepare for her journey.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eBy the return of the post she received an answer; it contained some\r\ncommon-place remarks on her romantic friendship, as he termed it; \"But\r\nas the physicians advised change of air, he had no objection.\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_54\" id=\"Page_54\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_IX\" id=\"CHAP_IX\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. IX.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThere was nothing now to retard their journey; and Mary chose Lisbon\r\nrather than France, on account of its being further removed from the\r\nonly person she wished not to see.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThey set off accordingly for Falmouth, in their way to that city. The\r\njourney was of use to Ann, and Mary\u0027s spirits were raised by her\r\nrecovered looks\u0026mdash;She had been in despair\u0026mdash;now she gave way to hope, and\r\nwas intoxicated with it. On ship-board Ann always remained in the cabin;\r\nthe sight of the water terrified her: on the contrary, Mary, after she\r\nwas gone to bed, or when she fell asleep in the day, went on deck,\r\nconversed \u003ca name=\"Page_55\" id=\"Page_55\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ewith the sailors, and surveyed the boundless expanse before\r\nher with delight. One instant she would regard the ocean, the next the\r\nbeings who braved its fury. Their insensibility and want of fear, she\r\ncould not name courage; their thoughtless mirth was quite of an animal\r\nkind, and their feelings as impetuous and uncertain as the element they\r\nplowed.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThey had only been a week at sea when they hailed the rock of Lisbon,\r\nand the next morning anchored at the castle. After the customary visits,\r\nthey were permitted to go on shore, about three miles from the city; and\r\nwhile one of the crew, who understood the language, went to procure them\r\none of the ugly carriages peculiar to the country, they waited in the\r\nIrish convent, which is situated close to the Tagus.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_56\" id=\"Page_56\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eSome of the people offered to conduct them into the church, where there\r\nwas a fine organ playing; Mary followed them, but Ann preferred staying\r\nwith a nun she had entered into conversation with.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eOne of the nuns, who had a sweet voice, was singing; Mary was struck\r\nwith awe; her heart joined in the devotion; and tears of gratitude and\r\ntenderness flowed from her eyes. My Father, I thank thee! burst from\r\nher\u0026mdash;words were inadequate to express her feelings. Silently, she\r\nsurveyed the lofty dome; heard unaccustomed sounds; and saw faces,\r\nstrange ones, that she could not yet greet with fraternal love.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eIn an unknown land, she considered that the Being she adored inhabited\r\neternity, was ever present in unnumbered worlds. When she had not any\r\none she loved near her, she was particularly sen\u003ca name=\"Page_57\" id=\"Page_57\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003esible of the presence\r\nof her Almighty Friend.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe arrival of the carriage put a stop to her speculations; it was to\r\nconduct them to an hotel, fitted up for the reception of invalids.\r\nUnfortunately, before they could reach it there was a violent shower of\r\nrain; and as the wind was very high, it beat against the leather\r\ncurtains, which they drew along the front of the vehicle, to shelter\r\nthemselves from it; but it availed not, some of the rain forced its way,\r\nand Ann felt the effects of it, for she caught cold, spite of Mary\u0027s\r\nprecautions.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eAs is the custom, the rest of the invalids, or lodgers, sent to enquire\r\nafter their health; and as soon as Ann left her chamber, in which her\r\ncomplaints seldom confined her the whole day, they came in person to pay\r\ntheir compli\u003ca name=\"Page_58\" id=\"Page_58\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ements. Three fashionable females, and two gentlemen; the\r\none a brother of the eldest of the young ladies, and the other an\r\ninvalid, who came, like themselves, for the benefit of the air. They\r\nentered into conversation immediately.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who meet in a strange country, and are all together in a house,\r\nsoon get acquainted, without the formalities which attend visiting in\r\nseparate houses, where they are surrounded by domestic friends. Ann was\r\nparticularly delighted at meeting with agreeable society; a little\r\nhectic fever generally made her low-spirited in the morning, and lively\r\nin the evening, when she wished for company. Mary, who only thought of\r\nher, determined to cultivate their acquaintance, as she knew, that if\r\nher mind could be diverted, her body might gain strength.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_59\" id=\"Page_59\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eThey were all musical, and proposed having little concerts. One of the\r\ngentlemen played on the violin, and the other on the german-flute. The\r\ninstruments were brought in, with all the eagerness that attends putting\r\na new scheme in execution.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eMary had not said much, for she was diffident; she seldom joined in\r\ngeneral conversations; though her quickness of penetration enabled her\r\nsoon to enter into the characters of those she conversed with; and her\r\nsensibility made her desirous of pleasing every human creature. Besides,\r\nif her mind was not occupied by any particular sorrow, or study, she\r\ncaught reflected pleasure, and was glad to see others happy, though\r\ntheir mirth did not interest her.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThis day she was continually thinking of Ann\u0027s recovery, and encouraging\r\n\u003ca name=\"Page_60\" id=\"Page_60\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ethe cheerful hopes, which though they dissipated the spirits that had\r\nbeen condensed by melancholy, yet made her wish to be silent. The music,\r\nmore than the conversation, disturbed her reflections; but not at first.\r\nThe gentleman who played on the german-flute, was a handsome, well-bred,\r\nsensible man; and his observations, if not original, were pertinent.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe other, who had not said much, began to touch the violin, and played\r\na little Scotch ballad; he brought such a thrilling sound out of the\r\ninstrument, that Mary started, and looking at him with more attention\r\nthan she had done before, and saw, in a face rather ugly, strong lines\r\nof genius. His manners were awkward, that kind of awkwardness which is\r\noften found in literary men: he seemed a thinker, and delivered his\r\n\u003ca name=\"Page_61\" id=\"Page_61\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eopinions in elegant expressions, and musical tones of voice.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eWhen the concert was over, they all retired to their apartments. Mary\r\nalways slept with Ann, as she was subject to terrifying dreams; and\r\nfrequently in the night was obliged to be supported, to avoid\r\nsuffocation. They chatted about their new acquaintance in their own\r\napartment, and, with respect to the gentlemen, differed in opinion.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_62\" id=\"Page_62\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_X\" id=\"CHAP_X\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. X.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eEvery day almost they saw their new acquaintance; and civility produced\r\nintimacy. Mary sometimes left her friend with them; while she indulged\r\nherself in viewing new modes of life, and searching out the causes which\r\nproduced them. She had a metaphysical turn, which inclined her to\r\nreflect on every object that passed by her; and her mind was not like a\r\nmirror, which receives every floating image, but does not retain them:\r\nshe had not any prejudices, for every opinion was examined before it was\r\nadopted.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe Roman Catholic ceremonies attracted her attention, and gave rise to\r\nconversations when they all met; and \u003ca name=\"Page_63\" id=\"Page_63\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eone of the gentlemen continually\r\nintroduced deistical notions, when he ridiculed the pageantry they all\r\nwere surprised at observing. Mary thought of both the subjects, the\r\nRomish tenets, and the deistical doubts; and though not a sceptic,\r\nthought it right to examine the evidence on which her faith was built.\r\nShe read Butler\u0027s Analogy, and some other authors: and these researches\r\nmade her a christian from conviction, and she learned charity,\r\nparticularly with respect to sectaries; saw that apparently good and\r\nsolid arguments might take their rise from different points of view; and\r\nshe rejoiced to find that those she should not concur with had some\r\nreason on their side.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_64\" id=\"Page_64\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_XI\" id=\"CHAP_XI\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. XI.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eWhen I mentioned the three ladies, I said they were fashionable women;\r\nand it was all the praise, as a faithful historian, I could bestow on\r\nthem; the only thing in which they were consistent. I forgot to mention\r\nthat they were all of one family, a mother, her daughter, and niece. The\r\ndaughter was sent by her physician, to avoid a northerly winter; the\r\nmother, her niece, and nephew, accompanied her.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThey were people of rank; but unfortunately, though of an ancient\r\nfamily, the title had descended to a very remote branch\u0026mdash;a branch they\r\ntook care to be \u003ca name=\"Page_65\" id=\"Page_65\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eintimate with; and servilely copied the Countess\u0027s\r\nairs. Their minds were shackled with a set of notions concerning\r\npropriety, the fitness of things for the world\u0027s eye, trammels which\r\nalways hamper weak people. What will the world say? was the first thing\r\nthat was thought of, when they intended doing any thing they had not\r\ndone before. Or what would the Countess do on such an occasion? And when\r\nthis question was answered, the right or wrong was discovered without\r\nthe trouble of their having any idea of the matter in their own heads.\r\nThis same Countess was a fine planet, and the satellites observed a most\r\nharmonic dance around her.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eAfter this account it is scarcely necessary to add, that their minds had\r\nreceived very little cultivation. They were taught French, Italian, and\r\nSpanish; English \u003ca name=\"Page_66\" id=\"Page_66\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ewas their vulgar tongue. And what did they learn?\r\nHamlet will tell you\u0026mdash;words\u0026mdash;words. But let me not forget that they\r\nsqualled Italian songs in the true \u003ci\u003egusto\u003c/i\u003e. Without having any seeds\r\nsown in their understanding, or the affections of the heart set to work,\r\nthey were brought out of their nursery, or the place they were secluded\r\nin, to prevent their faces being common; like blazing stars, to\r\ncaptivate Lords.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThey were pretty, and hurrying from one party of pleasure to another,\r\noccasioned the disorder which required change of air. The mother, if we\r\nexcept her being near twenty years older, was just the same creature;\r\nand these additional years only served to make her more tenaciously\r\nadhere to her habits of folly, and decide with stupid gravity, some\r\ntrivial points of ceremony, as a \u003ca name=\"Page_67\" id=\"Page_67\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ematter of the last importance; of\r\nwhich she was a competent judge, from having lived in the fashionable\r\nworld so long: that world to which the ignorant look up as we do to the\r\nsun.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eIt appears to me that every creature has some notion\u0026mdash;or rather relish,\r\nof the sublime. Riches, and the consequent state, are the sublime of\r\nweak minds:\u0026mdash;These images fill, nay, are too big for their narrow souls.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eOne afternoon, which they had engaged to spend together, Ann was so ill,\r\nthat Mary was obliged to send an apology for not attending the\r\ntea-table. The apology brought them on the carpet; and the mother, with\r\na look of solemn importance, turned to the sick man, whose name was\r\nHenry, and said;\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"Though people of the first fashion are frequently at places of this\r\nkind, inti\u003ca name=\"Page_68\" id=\"Page_68\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003emate with they know not who; yet I do not choose that my\r\ndaughter, whose family is so respectable, should be intimate with any\r\none she would blush to know elsewhere. It is only on that account, for I\r\nnever suffer her to be with any one but in my company,\" added she,\r\nsitting more erect; and a smile of self-complacency dressed her\r\ncountenance.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"I have enquired concerning these strangers, and find that the one who\r\nhas the most dignity in her manners, is really a woman of fortune.\"\r\n\"Lord, mamma, how ill she dresses:\" mamma went on; \"She is a romantic\r\ncreature, you must not copy her, miss; yet she is an heiress of the\r\nlarge fortune in \u0026mdash;\u0026mdash;shire, of which you may remember to have heard the\r\nCountess speak the night you had on the danc\u003ca name=\"Page_69\" id=\"Page_69\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eing-dress that was so much\r\nadmired; but she is married.\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe then told them the whole story as she heard it from her maid, who\r\npicked it out of Mary\u0027s servant. \"She is a foolish creature, and this\r\nfriend that she pays as much attention to as if she was a lady of\r\nquality, is a beggar.\" \"Well, how strange!\" cried the girls.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"She is, however, a charming creature,\" said her nephew. Henry sighed,\r\nand strode across the room once or twice; then took up his violin, and\r\nplayed the air which first struck Mary; he had often heard her praise\r\nit.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe music was uncommonly melodious, \"And came stealing on the senses\r\nlike the sweet south.\" The well-known sounds reached Mary as she sat by\r\nher friend\u0026mdash;she listened without knowing that she did\u0026mdash;and shed tears\r\n\u003ca name=\"Page_70\" id=\"Page_70\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ealmost without being conscious of it. Ann soon fell asleep, as she had\r\ntaken an opiate. Mary, then brooding over her fears, began to imagine\r\nshe had deceived herself\u0026mdash;Ann was still very ill; hope had beguiled many\r\nheavy hours; yet she was displeased with herself for admitting this\r\nwelcome guest.\u0026mdash;And she worked up her mind to such a degree of anxiety,\r\nthat she determined, once more, to seek medical aid.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eNo sooner did she determine, than she ran down with a discomposed look,\r\nto enquire of the ladies who she should send for. When she entered the\r\nroom she could not articulate her fears\u0026mdash;it appeared like pronouncing\r\nAnn\u0027s sentence of death; her faultering tongue dropped some broken\r\nwords, and she remained silent. The ladies wondered that a person of her\r\nsense should be so little \u003ca name=\"Page_71\" id=\"Page_71\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003emistress of herself; and began to administer\r\nsome common-place comfort, as, that it was our duty to submit to the\r\nwill of Heaven, and the like trite consolations, which Mary did not\r\nanswer; but waving her hand, with an air of impatience, she exclaimed,\r\n\"I cannot live without her!\u0026mdash;I have no other friend; if I lose her, what\r\na desart will the world be to me.\" \"No other friend,\" re-echoed they,\r\n\"have you not a husband?\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eMary shrunk back, and was alternately pale and red. A delicate sense of\r\npropriety prevented her replying; and recalled her bewildered\r\nreason.\u0026mdash;Assuming, in consequence of her recollection, a more composed\r\nmanner, she made the intended enquiry, and left the room. Henry\u0027s eyes\r\nfollowed her while the females very freely animadverted on her strange\r\nbehaviour.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_72\" id=\"Page_72\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_XII\" id=\"CHAP_XII\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. XII.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe physician was sent for; his prescription afforded Ann a little\r\ntemporary relief; and they again joined the circle. Unfortunately, the\r\nweather happened to be constantly wet for more than a week, and confined\r\nthem to the house. Ann then found the ladies not so agreeable; when they\r\nsat whole hours together, the thread-bare topics were exhausted; and,\r\nbut for cards or music, the long evenings would have been yawned away in\r\nlistless indolence.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe bad weather had had as ill an effect on Henry as on Ann. He was\r\nfrequently very thoughtful, or rather melancholy; this melancholy would\r\nof \u003ca name=\"Page_73\" id=\"Page_73\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eitself have attracted Mary\u0027s notice, if she had not found his\r\nconversation so infinitely superior to the rest of the group. When she\r\nconversed with him, all the faculties of her soul unfolded themselves;\r\ngenius animated her expressive countenance and the most graceful,\r\nunaffected gestures gave energy to her discourse.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThey frequently discussed very important subjects, while the rest were\r\nsinging or playing cards, nor were they observed for doing so, as Henry,\r\nwhom they all were pleased with, in the way of gallantry shewed them all\r\nmore attention than her. Besides, as there was nothing alluring in her\r\ndress or manner, they never dreamt of her being preferred to them.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHenry was a man of learning; he had also studied mankind, and knew many\r\nof the intricacies of the human heart, from \u003ca name=\"Page_74\" id=\"Page_74\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ehaving felt the infirmities\r\nof his own. His taste was just, as it had a standard\u0026mdash;Nature, which he\r\nobserved with a critical eye. Mary could not help thinking that in his\r\ncompany her mind expanded, as he always went below the surface. She\r\nincreased her stock of ideas, and her taste was improved.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHe was also a pious man; his rational religious sentiments received\r\nwarmth from his sensibility; and, except on very particular occasions,\r\nkept it in proper bounds; these sentiments had likewise formed his\r\ntemper; he was gentle, and easily to be intreated. The ridiculous\r\nceremonies they were every day witness to, led them into what are termed\r\ngrave subjects, and made him explain his opinions, which, at other\r\ntimes, he was neither ashamed of, nor unnecessarily brought forward to\r\nnotice.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_75\" id=\"Page_75\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_XIII\" id=\"CHAP_XIII\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. XIII.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eWhen the weather began to clear up, Mary sometimes rode out alone,\r\npurposely to view the ruins that still remained of the earthquake: or\r\nshe would ride to the banks of the Tagus, to feast her eyes with the\r\nsight of that magnificent river. At other times she would visit the\r\nchurches, as she was particularly fond of seeing historical paintings.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eOne of these visits gave rise to the subject, and the whole party\r\ndescanted on it; but as the ladies could not handle it well, they soon\r\nadverted to portraits; and talked of the attitudes and characters in\r\nwhich they should wish to be drawn. Mary did not fix on one\u0026mdash;when\u003ca name=\"Page_76\" id=\"Page_76\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\r\nHenry, with more apparent warmth than usual, said, \"I would give the\r\nworld for your picture, with the expression I have seen in your face,\r\nwhen you have been supporting your friend.\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThis delicate compliment did not gratify her vanity, but it reached her\r\nheart. She then recollected that she had once sat for her picture\u0026mdash;for\r\nwhom was it designed? For a boy! Her cheeks flushed with indignation, so\r\nstrongly did she feel an emotion of contempt at having been thrown\r\naway\u0026mdash;given in with an estate.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eAs Mary again gave way to hope, her mind was more disengaged; and her\r\nthoughts were employed about the objects around her.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe visited several convents, and found that solitude only eradicates\r\nsome passions, to give strength to others; the \u003ca name=\"Page_77\" id=\"Page_77\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003emost baneful ones. She\r\nsaw that religion does not consist in ceremonies; and that many prayers\r\nmay fall from the lips without purifying the heart.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThey who imagine they can be religious without governing their tempers,\r\nor exercising benevolence in its most extensive sense, must certainly\r\nallow, that their religious duties are only practiced from selfish\r\nprinciples; how then can they be called good? The pattern of all\r\ngoodness went about \u003ci\u003edoing\u003c/i\u003e good. Wrapped up in themselves, the nuns\r\nonly thought of inferior gratifications. And a number of intrigues were\r\ncarried on to accelerate certain points on which their hearts were\r\nfixed:\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eSuch as obtaining offices of trust or authority; or avoiding those that\r\nwere servile or laborious. In short, when they could be neither wives\r\nnor mothers, \u003ca name=\"Page_78\" id=\"Page_78\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ethey aimed at being superiors, and became the most selfish\r\ncreatures in the world: the passions that were curbed gave strength to\r\nthe appetites, or to those mean passions which only tend to provide for\r\nthe gratification of them. Was this seclusion from the world? or did\r\nthey conquer its vanities or avoid its vexations?\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eIn these abodes the unhappy individual, who, in the first paroxysm of\r\ngrief flies to them for refuge, finds too late she took a wrong step.\r\nThe same warmth which determined her will make her repent; and sorrow,\r\nthe rust of the mind, will never have a chance of being rubbed off by\r\nsensible conversation, or new-born affections of the heart.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe will find that those affections that have once been called forth and\r\n\u003ca name=\"Page_79\" id=\"Page_79\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003estrengthened by exercise, are only smothered, not killed, by\r\ndisappointment; and that in one form or other discontent will corrode\r\nthe heart, and produce those maladies of the imagination, for which\r\nthere is no specific.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe community at large Mary disliked; but pitied many of them whose\r\nprivate distresses she was informed of; and to pity and relieve were the\r\nsame things with her.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe exercise of her various virtues gave vigor to her genius, and\r\ndignity to her mind; she was sometimes inconsiderate, and violent; but\r\nnever mean or cunning.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_80\" id=\"Page_80\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_XIV\" id=\"CHAP_XIV\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. XIV.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe Portuguese are certainly the most uncivilized nation in Europe. Dr.\r\nJohnson would have said, \"They have the least mind.\". And can such serve\r\ntheir Creator in spirit and in truth? No, the gross ritual of Romish\r\nceremonies is all they can comprehend: they can do penance, but not\r\nconquer their revenge, or lust. Religion, or love, has never humanized\r\ntheir hearts; they want the vital part; the mere body worships. Taste is\r\nunknown; Gothic finery, and unnatural decorations, which they term\r\nornaments, are conspicuous in their churches and dress. Reverence for\r\n\u003ca name=\"Page_81\" id=\"Page_81\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003emental excellence is only to be found in a polished nation.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eCould the contemplation of such a people gratify Mary\u0027s heart? No: she\r\nturned disgusted from the prospects\u0026mdash;turned to a man of refinement.\r\nHenry had been some time ill and low-spirited; Mary would have been\r\nattentive to any one in that situation; but to him she was particularly\r\nso; she thought herself bound in gratitude, on account of his constant\r\nendeavours to amuse Ann, and prevent her dwelling on the dreary prospect\r\nbefore her, which sometimes she could not help anticipating with a kind\r\nof quiet despair.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe found some excuse for going more frequently into the room they all\r\nmet in; nay, she avowed her desire to amuse him: offered to read to him,\r\nand tried to draw him into amusing conversations; \u003ca name=\"Page_82\" id=\"Page_82\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eand when she was full\r\nof these little schemes, she looked at him with a degree of tenderness\r\nthat she was not conscious of. This divided attention was of use to her,\r\nand prevented her continually thinking of Ann, whose fluctuating\r\ndisorder often gave rise to false hopes.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eA trifling thing occurred now which occasioned Mary some uneasiness. Her\r\nmaid, a well-looking girl, had captivated the clerk of a neighbouring\r\ncompting-house. As the match was an advantageous one, Mary could not\r\nraise any objection to it, though at this juncture it was very\r\ndisagreeable to her to have a stranger about her person. However, the\r\ngirl consented to delay the marriage, as she had some affection for her\r\nmistress; and, besides, looked forward to Ann\u0027s death as a time of\r\nharvest.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_83\" id=\"Page_83\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eHenry\u0027s illness was not alarming, it was rather pleasing, as it gave\r\nMary an excuse to herself for shewing him how much she was interested\r\nabout him; and giving little artless proofs of affection, which the\r\npurity of her heart made her never wish to restrain.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe only visible return he made was not obvious to common observers. He\r\nwould sometimes fix his eyes on her, and take them off with a sigh that\r\nwas coughed away; or when he was leisurely walking into the room, and\r\ndid not expect to see her, he would quicken his steps, and come up to\r\nher with eagerness to ask some trivial question. In the same style, he\r\nwould try to detain her when he had nothing to say\u0026mdash;or said nothing.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eAnn did not take notice of either his or Mary\u0027s behaviour, nor did she\r\nsuspect \u003ca name=\"Page_84\" id=\"Page_84\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ethat he was a favourite, on any other account than his\r\nappearing neither well nor happy. She had often seen that when a person\r\nwas unfortunate, Mary\u0027s pity might easily be mistaken for love, and,\r\nindeed, it was a temporary sensation of that kind. Such it was\u0026mdash;why it\r\nwas so, let others define, I cannot argue against instincts. As reason\r\nis cultivated in man, they are supposed to grow weaker, and this may\r\nhave given rise to the assertion, \"That as judgment improves, genius\r\nevaporates.\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_85\" id=\"Page_85\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_XV\" id=\"CHAP_XV\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. XV.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eOne morning they set out to visit the aqueduct; though the day was very\r\nfine when they left home, a very heavy shower fell before they reached\r\nit; they lengthened their ride, the clouds dispersed, and the sun came\r\nfrom behind them uncommonly bright.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eMary would fain have persuaded Ann not to have left the carriage; but\r\nshe was in spirits, and obviated all her objections, and insisted on\r\nwalking, tho\u0027 the ground was damp. But her strength was not equal to her\r\nspirits; she was soon obliged to return to the carriage so much\r\nfatigued, that she fainted, and remained insensible a long time.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_86\" id=\"Page_86\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eHenry would have supported her; but Mary would not permit him; her\r\nrecollection was instantaneous, and she feared sitting on the damp\r\nground might do him a material injury: she was on that account positive,\r\nthough the company did not guess the cause of her being so. As to\r\nherself, she did not fear bodily pain; and, when her mind was agitated,\r\nshe could endure the greatest fatigue without appearing sensible of it.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eWhen Ann recovered, they returned slowly home; she was carried to bed,\r\nand the next morning Mary thought she observed a visible change for the\r\nworse. The physician was sent for, who pronounced her to be in the most\r\nimminent danger.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eAll Mary\u0027s former fears now returned like a torrent, and carried every\r\nother care away; she even added to her pre\u003ca name=\"Page_87\" id=\"Page_87\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003esent anguish by upbraiding\r\nherself for her late tranquillity\u0026mdash;it haunted her in the form of a\r\ncrime.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe disorder made the most rapid advances\u0026mdash;there was no hope!\u0026mdash;Bereft of\r\nit, Mary again was tranquil; but it was a very different kind of\r\ntranquillity. She stood to brave the approaching storm, conscious she\r\nonly could be overwhelmed by it.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe did not think of Henry, or if her thoughts glanced towards him, it\r\nwas only to find fault with herself for suffering a thought to have\r\nstrayed from Ann.\u0026mdash;Ann!\u0026mdash;this dear friend was soon torn from her\u0026mdash;she\r\ndied suddenly as Mary was assisting her to walk across the room.\u0026mdash;The\r\nfirst string was severed from her heart\u0026mdash;and this \"slow, sudden-death\"\r\ndisturbed her reasoning faculties; she seemed stunned by it; unable to\r\nreflect, or even to feel her misery.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_88\" id=\"Page_88\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eThe body was stolen out of the house the second night, and Mary refused\r\nto see her former companions. She desired her maid to conclude her\r\nmarriage, and request her intended husband to inform her when the first\r\nmerchantman was to leave the port, as the packet had just sailed, and\r\nshe determined not to stay in that hated place any longer than was\r\nabsolutely necessary.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe then sent to request the ladies to visit her; she wished to avoid a\r\nparade of grief\u0026mdash;her sorrows were her own, and appeared to her not to\r\nadmit of increase or softening. She was right; the sight of them did not\r\naffect her, or turn the stream of her sullen sorrow; the black wave\r\nrolled along in the same course, it was equal to her where she cast her\r\neyes; all was impenetrable gloom.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_89\" id=\"Page_89\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_XVI\" id=\"CHAP_XVI\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. XVI.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eSoon after the ladies left her, she received a message from Henry,\r\nrequesting, as she saw company, to be permitted to visit her: she\r\nconsented, and he entered immediately, with an unassured pace. She ran\r\neagerly up to him\u0026mdash;saw the tear trembling in his eye, and his\r\ncountenance softened by the tenderest compassion; the hand which pressed\r\nhers seemed that of a fellow-creature. She burst into tears; and, unable\r\nto restrain them, she hid her face with both her hands; these tears\r\nrelieved her, (she had before had a difficulty in breathing,) and she\r\nsat down by him more composed \u003ca name=\"Page_90\" id=\"Page_90\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ethan she had appeared since Ann\u0027s death;\r\nbut her conversation was incoherent.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe called herself \"a poor disconsolate creature!\"\u0026mdash;\"Mine is a selfish\r\ngrief,\" she exclaimed\u0026mdash;\"Yet; Heaven is my witness, I do not wish her\r\nback now she has reached those peaceful mansions, where the weary rest.\r\nHer pure spirit is happy; but what a wretch am I!\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHenry forgot his cautious reserve. \"Would you allow me to call you\r\nfriend?\" said he in a hesitating voice. \"I feel, dear girl, the tendered\r\ninterest in whatever concerns thee.\" His eyes spoke the rest. They were\r\nboth silent a few moments; then Henry resumed the conversation. \"I have\r\nalso been acquainted with grief! I mourn the loss of a woman who was not\r\nworthy of my regard. Let me give thee some \u003ca name=\"Page_91\" id=\"Page_91\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eaccount of the man who now\r\nsolicits thy friendship; and who, from motives of the purest\r\nbenevolence, wishes to give comfort to thy wounded heart.\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"I have myself,\" said he, mournfully, \"shaken hands with happiness, and\r\nam dead to the world; I wait patiently for my dissolution; but, for\r\nthee, Mary, there may be many bright days in store.\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"Impossible,\" replied she, in a peevish tone, as if he had insulted her\r\nby the supposition; her feelings were so much in unison with his, that\r\nshe was in love with misery.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHe smiled at her impatience, and went on. \"My father died before I knew\r\nhim, and my mother was so attached to my eldest brother, that she took\r\nvery little pains to fit me for the profession to which I was destined:\u003ca name=\"Page_92\" id=\"Page_92\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\r\nand, may I tell thee, I left my family, and, in many different stations,\r\nrambled about the world; saw mankind in every rank of life; and, in\r\norder to be independent, exerted those talents Nature has given me:\r\nthese exertions improved my understanding; and the miseries I was\r\nwitness to, gave a keener edge to my sensibility. My constitution is\r\nnaturally weak; and, perhaps, two or three lingering disorders in my\r\nyouth, first gave me a habit of reflecting, and enabled me to obtain\r\nsome dominion over my passions. At least,\" added he, stifling a sigh,\r\n\"over the violent ones, though I fear, refinement and reflection only\r\nrenders the tender ones more tyrannic.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"I have told you already I have been in love, and disappointed\u0026mdash;the\r\n\u003ca name=\"Page_93\" id=\"Page_93\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eobject is now no more; let her faults sleep with her! Yet this passion\r\nhas pervaded my whole soul, and mixed itself with all my affections and\r\npursuits.\u0026mdash;I am not peacefully indifferent; yet it is only to my violin\r\nI tell the sorrows I now confide with thee. The object I loved forfeited\r\nmy esteem; yet, true to the sentiment, my fancy has too frequently\r\ndelighted to form a creature that I could love, that could convey to my\r\nsoul sensations which the gross part of mankind have not any conception\r\nof.\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHe stopped, as Mary seemed lost in thought; but as she was still in a\r\nlistening attitude, continued his little narrative. \"I kept up an\r\nirregular correspondence with my mother; my brother\u0027s extravagance and\r\ningratitude had almost broken her heart, and \u003ca name=\"Page_94\" id=\"Page_94\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003emade her feel something\r\nlike a pang of remorse, on account of her behaviour to me. I hastened to\r\ncomfort her\u0026mdash;and was a comfort to her.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"My declining health prevented my taking orders, as I had intended; but\r\nI with warmth entered into literary pursuits; perhaps my heart, not\r\nhaving an object, made me embrace the substitute with more eagerness.\r\nBut, do not imagine I have always been a die-away swain. No: I have\r\nfrequented the cheerful haunts of men, and wit!\u0026mdash;enchanting wit! has\r\nmade many moments fly free from care. I am too fond of the elegant arts;\r\nand woman\u0026mdash;lovely woman! thou hast charmed me, though, perhaps, it would\r\nnot be easy to find one to whom my reason would allow me to be constant.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_95\" id=\"Page_95\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\"I have now only to tell you, that my mother insisted on my spending\r\nthis winter in a warmer climate; and I fixed on Lisbon, as I had before\r\nvisited the Continent.\" He then looked Mary full in the face; and, with\r\nthe most insinuating accents, asked \"if he might hope for her\r\nfriendship? If she would rely on him as if he was her father; and that\r\nthe tenderest father could not more anxiously interest himself in the\r\nfate of a darling child, than he did in her\u0027s.\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eSuch a crowd of thoughts all at once rushed into Mary\u0027s mind, that she\r\nin vain attempted to express the sentiments which were most predominant.\r\nHer heart longed to receive a new guest; there was a void in it:\r\naccustomed to have some one to love, she was alone, and comfortless, if\r\nnot engrossed by a particular affection.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_96\" id=\"Page_96\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eHenry saw her distress, and not to increase it, left the room. He had\r\nexerted himself to turn her thoughts into a new channel, and had\r\nsucceeded; she thought of him till she began to chide herself for\r\ndefrauding the dead, and, determining to grieve for Ann, she dwelt on\r\nHenry\u0027s misfortunes and ill health; and the interest he took in her fate\r\nwas a balm to her sick mind. She did not reason on the subject; but she\r\nfelt he was attached to her: lost in this delirium, she never asked\r\nherself what kind of an affection she had for him, or what it tended to;\r\nnor did she know that love and friendship are very distinct; she thought\r\nwith rapture, that there was one person in the world who had an\r\naffection for her, and that person she admired\u0026mdash;had a friendship for.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHe had called her his dear girl; the words might have fallen from him by\r\n\u003ca name=\"Page_97\" id=\"Page_97\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eaccident; but they did not fall to the ground. My child! His child,\r\nwhat an association of ideas! If I had had a father, such a father!\u0026mdash;She\r\ncould not dwell on the thoughts, the wishes which obtruded themselves.\r\nHer mind was unhinged, and passion unperceived filled her whole soul.\r\nLost, in waking dreams, she considered and reconsidered Henry\u0027s account\r\nof himself; till she actually thought she would tell Ann\u0026mdash;a bitter\r\nrecollection then roused her out of her reverie; and aloud she begged\r\nforgiveness of her.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eBy these kind of conflicts the day was lengthened; and when she went to\r\nbed, the night passed away in feverish slumbers; though they did not\r\nrefresh her, she was spared the labour of thinking, of restraining her\r\nimagination; it sported uncontrouled; but took its colour from her\r\nwaking train of thoughts. One in\u003ca name=\"Page_98\" id=\"Page_98\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003estant she was supporting her dying\r\nmother; then Ann was breathing her last, and Henry was comforting her.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe unwelcome light visited her languid eyes; yet, I must tell the\r\ntruth, she thought she should see Henry, and this hope set her spirits\r\nin motion: but they were quickly depressed by her maid, who came to tell\r\nher that she had heard of a vessel on board of which she could be\r\naccommodated, and that there was to be another female passenger on\r\nboard, a vulgar one; but perhaps she would be more useful on that\r\naccount\u0026mdash;Mary did not want a companion.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eAs she had given orders for her passage to be engaged in the first\r\nvessel that sailed, she could not now retract; and must prepare for the\r\nlonely voyage, as the Captain intended taking advantage of the first\r\nfair wind. She had too much \u003ca name=\"Page_99\" id=\"Page_99\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003estrength of mind to waver in her\r\ndetermination but to determine wrung her very heart, opened all her old\r\nwounds, and made them bleed afresh. What was she to do? where go? Could\r\nshe set a seal to a hasty vow, and tell a deliberate lie; promise to\r\nlove one man, when the image of another was ever present to her\u0026mdash;her\r\nsoul revolted. \"I might gain the applause of the world by such mock\r\nheroism; but should I not forfeit my own? forfeit thine, my father!\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThere is a solemnity in the shortest ejaculation, which, for a while,\r\nstills the tumult of passion. Mary\u0027s mind had been thrown off its poise;\r\nher devotion had been, perhaps, more fervent for some time past; but\r\nless regular. She forgot that happiness was not to be found on earth,\r\nand built a terrestrial paradise liable to be destroyed by the \u003ca name=\"Page_100\" id=\"Page_100\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003efirst\r\nserious thought: when, she reasoned she became inexpressibly sad, to\r\nrender life bearable she gave way to fancy\u0026mdash;this was madness.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eIn a few days she must again go to sea; the weather was very\r\ntempestuous\u0026mdash;what of that, the tempest in her soul rendered every other\r\ntrifling\u0026mdash;it was not the contending elements, but \u003ci\u003eherself\u003c/i\u003e she feared!\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_101\" id=\"Page_101\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_XVII\" id=\"CHAP_XVII\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. XVII.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eIn order to gain strength to support the expected interview, she went\r\nout in a carriage. The day was fine; but all nature was to her a\r\nuniversal blank; she could neither enjoy it, nor weep that she could\r\nnot. She passed by the ruins of an old monastery on a very high hill she\r\ngot out to walk amongst the ruins; the wind blew violently, she did not\r\navoid its fury, on the contrary, wildly bid it blow on, and seemed glad\r\nto contend with it, or rather walk against it. Exhausted she returned to\r\nthe carriage was soon at home, and in the old room.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHenry started at the sight of her altered appearance; the day before her\r\ncom\u003ca name=\"Page_102\" id=\"Page_102\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eplexion had been of the most pallid hue; but now her cheeks were\r\nflushed, and her eyes enlivened with a false vivacity, an unusual fire.\r\nHe was not well, his illness was apparent in his countenance, and he\r\nowned he had not closed his eyes all night; this roused her dormant\r\ntenderness, she forgot they were so soon to part-engrossed by the\r\npresent happiness of seeing, of hearing him.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eOnce or twice she essayed to tell him that she was, in a few days, to\r\ndepart; but she could not; she was irresolute; it will do to-morrow;\r\nshould the wind change they could not sail in such a hurry; thus she\r\nthought, and insensibly grew more calm. The Ladies prevailed on her to\r\nspend the evening with them; but she retired very early to rest, and sat\r\non the side of her bed several hours, then threw herself on it, and\r\nwaited for the dreaded to-morrow.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_103\" id=\"Page_103\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_XVIII\" id=\"CHAP_XVIII\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. XVIII.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe ladies heard that her servant was to be married that day, and that\r\nshe was to sail in the vessel which was then clearing out at the\r\nCustom-house. Henry heard, but did not make any remarks; and Mary called\r\nup all her fortitude to support her, and enable her to hide from the\r\nfemales her internal struggles. She durst not encounter Henry\u0027s glances\r\nwhen she found he had been informed of her intention; and, trying to\r\ndraw a veil over her wretched state of mind, she talked incessantly, she\r\nknew not what; flashes of wit burst from her, and when she began to\r\nlaugh she could not stop herself.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_104\" id=\"Page_104\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eHenry smiled at some of her sallies, and looked at her with such\r\nbenignity and compassion, that he recalled her scattered thoughts; and,\r\nthe ladies going to dress for dinner, they were left alone; and remained\r\nsilent a few moments: after the noisy conversation it appeared solemn.\r\nHenry began. \"You are going, Mary, and going by yourself; your mind is\r\nnot in a state to be left to its own operations\u0026mdash;yet I cannot, dissuade\r\nyou; if I attempted to do it, I should ill deserve the title I wish to\r\nmerit. I only think of your happiness; could I obey the strongest\r\nimpulse of my heart, I should accompany thee to England; but such a step\r\nmight endanger your future peace.\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eMary, then, with all the frankness which marked her character, explained\r\nher situation to him and mentioned her \u003ca name=\"Page_105\" id=\"Page_105\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003efatal tie with such disgust that\r\nhe trembled for her. \"I cannot see him; he is not the man formed for me\r\nto love!\" Her delicacy did not restrain her, for her dislike to her\r\nhusband had taken root in her mind long before she knew Henry. Did she\r\nnot fix on Lisbon rather than France on purpose to avoid him? and if Ann\r\nhad been in tolerable health she would have flown with her to some\r\nremote corner to have escaped from him.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"I intend,\" said Henry, \"to follow you in the next packet; where shall I\r\nhear of your health?\" \"Oh! let me hear of thine,\" replied Mary. \"I am\r\nwell, very well; but thou art very ill\u0026mdash;thy health is in the most\r\nprecarious state.\" She then mentioned her intention of going to Ann\u0027s\r\nrelations. \"I am her representative, I have duties to fulfil for her:\r\nduring my voyage I \u003ca name=\"Page_106\" id=\"Page_106\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ehave time enough for reflection; though I think I\r\nhave already determined.\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"Be not too hasty, my child,\" interrupted Henry; \"far be it from me to\r\npersuade thee to do violence to thy feelings\u0026mdash;but consider that all thy\r\nfuture life may probably take its colour from thy present mode of\r\nconduct. Our affections as well as our sentiments are fluctuating; you\r\nwill not perhaps always either think or feel as you do at present: the\r\nobject you now shun may appear in a different light.\" He paused. \"In\r\nadvising thee in this style, I have only thy good at heart, Mary.\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe only answered to expostulate. \"My affections are involuntary\u0026mdash;yet\r\nthey can only be fixed by reflection, and when they are they make quite\r\na part of my soul, are interwoven in it, \u003ca name=\"Page_107\" id=\"Page_107\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eanimate my actions, and form\r\nmy taste: certain qualities are calculated to call forth my sympathies,\r\nand make me all I am capable of being. The governing affection gives its\r\nstamp to the rest\u0026mdash;because I am capable of loving one, I have that kind\r\nof charity to all my fellow-creatures which is not easily provoked.\r\nMilton has asserted, That earthly love is the scale by which to heavenly\r\nwe may ascend.\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe went on with eagerness. \"My opinions on some subjects are not\r\nwavering; my pursuit through life has ever been the same: in solitude\r\nwere my sentiments formed; they are indelible, and nothing can efface\r\nthem but death\u0026mdash;No, death itself cannot efface them, or my soul must be\r\ncreated afresh, and not improved.\u003ca name=\"Page_108\" id=\"Page_108\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e Yet a little while am I parted from\r\nmy Ann\u0026mdash;I could not exist without the hope of seeing her again\u0026mdash;I could\r\nnot bear to think that time could wear away an affection that was\r\nfounded on what is not liable to perish; you might as well attempt to\r\npersuade me that my soul is matter, and that its feelings arose from\r\ncertain modifications of it.\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"Dear enthusiastic creature,\" whispered Henry, \"how you steal into my\r\nsoul.\" She still continued. \"The same turn of mind which leads me to\r\nadore the Author of all Perfection\u0026mdash;which leads me to conclude that he\r\nonly can fill my soul; forces me to admire the faint image-the shadows\r\nof his attributes here below; and my imagination gives still bolder\r\nstrokes to them. I knew I am in some de\u003ca name=\"Page_109\" id=\"Page_109\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003egree under the influence of a\r\ndelusion\u0026mdash;but does not this strong delusion prove that I myself \u0027am \u003ci\u003eof\r\nsubtiler essence than the trodden clod\u003c/i\u003e\u0027 these flights of the\r\nimagination point to futurity; I cannot banish them. Every cause in\r\nnature produces an effect; and am I an exception to the general rule?\r\nhave I desires implanted in me only to make me miserable? will they\r\nnever be gratified? shall I never be happy? My feelings do not accord\r\nwith the notion of solitary happiness. In a state of bliss, it will be\r\nthe society of beings we can love, without the alloy that earthly\r\ninfirmities mix with our best affections, that will constitute great\r\npart of our happiness.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"With these notions can I conform to the maxims of worldly wisdom?\u003ca name=\"Page_110\" id=\"Page_110\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e can\r\nI listen to the cold dictates of worldly prudence and bid my tumultuous\r\npassions cease to vex me, be still, find content in grovelling pursuits,\r\nand the admiration of the misjudging crowd, when it is only one I wish\r\nto please\u0026mdash;one who could be all the world to me. Argue not with me, I am\r\nbound by human ties; but did my spirit ever promise to love, or could I\r\nconsider when forced to bind myself\u0026mdash;to take a vow, that at the awful\r\nday of judgment I must give an account of. My conscience does not smite\r\nme, and that Being who is greater than the internal monitor, may approve\r\nof what the world condemns; sensible that in Him I live, could I brave\r\nHis presence, or hope in solitude to find peace, if I acted contrary to\r\nconviction, that the world \u003ca name=\"Page_111\" id=\"Page_111\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003emight approve of my conduct\u0026mdash;what could the\r\nworld give to compensate for my own esteem? it is ever hostile and armed\r\nagainst the feeling heart!\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"Riches and honours await me, and the cold moralist might desire me to\r\nsit down and enjoy them\u0026mdash;I cannot conquer my feelings, and till I do,\r\nwhat are these baubles to me? you may tell me I follow a fleeting good,\r\nan \u003ci\u003eignis fatuus\u003c/i\u003e; but this chase, these struggles prepare me for\r\neternity\u0026mdash;when I no longer see through a glass darkly I shall not reason\r\nabout, but \u003ci\u003efeel\u003c/i\u003e in what happiness consists.\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHenry had not attempted to interrupt her; he saw she was determined, and\r\nthat these sentiments were not the effusion of the moment, but well\r\ndigested ones, the result of strong affections, a high sense of honour,\r\nand respect for the \u003ca name=\"Page_112\" id=\"Page_112\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003esource of all virtue and truth. He was startled, if\r\nnot entirely convinced by her arguments; indeed her voice, her gestures\r\nwere all persuasive.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eSome one now entered the room; he looked an answer to her long harangue;\r\nit was fortunate for him, or he might have been led to say what in a\r\ncooler moment he had determined to conceal; but were words necessary to\r\nreveal it? He wished not to influence her conduct\u0026mdash;vain precaution; she\r\nknew she was beloved; and could she forget that such a man loved her, or\r\nrest satisfied with any inferior gratification. When passion first\r\nenters the heart, it is only a return of affection that is sought after,\r\nand every other remembrance and wish is blotted out.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_113\" id=\"Page_113\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_XIX\" id=\"CHAP_XIX\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. XIX.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eTwo days passed away without any particular conversation; Henry, trying\r\nto be indifferent, or to appear so, was more assiduous than ever. The\r\nconflict was too violent for his present state of health; the spirit was\r\nwilling, but the body suffered; he lost his appetite, and looked\r\nwretchedly; his spirits were calmly low\u0026mdash;the world seemed to fade\r\naway\u0026mdash;what was that world to him that Mary did not inhabit; she lived\r\nnot for him.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHe was mistaken; his affection was her only support; without this dear\r\nprop she had sunk into the grave of her lost\u0026mdash;long-loved friend;\u0026mdash;his\r\nattention \u003ca name=\"Page_114\" id=\"Page_114\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003esnatched her from despair. Inscrutable are the ways of\r\nHeaven!\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe third day Mary was desired to prepare herself; for if the wind\r\ncontinued in the same point, they should set sail the next evening. She\r\ntried to prepare her mind, and her efforts were not useless she appeared\r\nless agitated than could have been expected, and talked of her voyage\r\nwith composure. On great occasions she was generally calm and collected,\r\nher resolution would brace her unstrung nerves; but after the victory\r\nshe had no triumph; she would sink into a state of moping melancholy,\r\nand feel ten-fold misery when the heroic enthusiasm was over.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe morning of the day fixed on for her departure she was alone with\r\nHenry only a few moments, and an awkward kind of formality made them\r\nslip away \u003ca name=\"Page_115\" id=\"Page_115\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ewithout their having said much to each other. Henry was\r\nafraid to discover his passion, or give any other name to his regard but\r\nfriendship; yet his anxious solicitude for her welfare was ever breaking\r\nout-while she as artlessly expressed again and again, her fears with\r\nrespect to his declining health.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"We shall soon meet,\" said he, with a faint smile; Mary smiled too; she\r\ncaught the sickly beam; it was still fainter by being reflected, and not\r\nknowing what she wished to do, started up and left the room. When she\r\nwas alone she regretted she had left him so precipitately. \"The few\r\nprecious moments I have thus thrown away may never return,\" she\r\nthought-the reflection led to misery.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe waited for, nay, almost wished for the summons to depart. She could\r\n\u003ca name=\"Page_116\" id=\"Page_116\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003enot avoid spending the intermediate time with the ladies and Henry; and\r\nthe trivial conversations she was obliged to bear a part in harassed her\r\nmore than can be well conceived.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe summons came, and the whole party attended her to the vessel. For a\r\nwhile the remembrance of Ann banished her regret at parting with Henry,\r\nthough his pale figure pressed on her sight; it may seem a paradox, but\r\nhe was more present to her when she sailed; her tears then were all his\r\nown.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"My poor Ann!\" thought Mary, \"along this road we came, and near this\r\nspot you called me your guardian angel\u0026mdash;and now I leave thee here! ah!\r\nno, I do not\u0026mdash;thy spirit is not confined to its mouldering tenement!\r\nTell me, thou soul of her I love, tell me, ah! whither art thou fled?\"\r\nAnn \u003ca name=\"Page_117\" id=\"Page_117\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eoccupied her until they reached the ship.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe anchor was weighed. Nothing can be more irksome than waiting to say\r\nfarewel. As the day was serene, they accompanied her a little way, and\r\nthen got into the boat; Henry was the last; he pressed her hand, it had\r\nnot any life in it; she leaned over the side of the ship without looking\r\nat the boat, till it was so far distant, that she could not see the\r\ncountenances of those that were in it: a mist spread itself over her\r\nsight\u0026mdash;she longed to exchange one look\u0026mdash;tried to recollect the\r\nlast;\u0026mdash;the universe contained no being but Henry!\u0026mdash;The grief of parting\r\nwith him had swept all others clean away. Her eyes followed the keel of\r\nthe boat, and when she could no longer perceive its traces: she looked\r\nround on the wide waste of waters, thought of the \u003ca name=\"Page_118\" id=\"Page_118\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eprecious moments\r\nwhich had been stolen from the waste of murdered time.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe then descended into the cabin, regardless of the surrounding\r\nbeauties of nature, and throwing herself on her bed in the little hole\r\nwhich was called the state-room\u0026mdash;she wished to forget her existence. On\r\nthis bed she remained two days, listening to the dashing waves, unable\r\nto close her eyes. A small taper made the darkness visible; and the\r\nthird night, by its glimmering light, she wrote the following fragment.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"Poor solitary wretch that I am; here alone do I listen to the whistling\r\nwinds and dashing waves;\u0026mdash;on no human support can I rest\u0026mdash;when not lost\r\nto hope I found pleasure in the society of those rough beings; but now\r\nthey appear not like my fellow creatures; no social ties draw me to\r\n\u003ca name=\"Page_119\" id=\"Page_119\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ethem. How long, how dreary has this day been; yet I scarcely wish it\r\nover\u0026mdash;for what will to-morrow bring\u0026mdash;to-morrow, and to-morrow will only\r\nbe marked with unvaried characters of wretchedness.\u0026mdash;Yet surely, I am\r\nnot alone!\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHer moistened eyes were lifted up to heaven; a crowd of thoughts darted\r\ninto her mind, and pressing her hand against her forehead, as if to bear\r\nthe intellectual weight, she tried, but tried in vain, to arrange them.\r\n\"Father of Mercies, compose this troubled spirit: do I indeed wish it to\r\nbe composed\u0026mdash;to forget my Henry?\" the \u003ci\u003emy\u003c/i\u003e, the pen was directly drawn\r\nacross in an agony.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_120\" id=\"Page_120\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_XX\" id=\"CHAP_XX\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. XX.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe mate of the ship, who heard her stir, came to offer her some\r\nrefreshment; and she, who formerly received every offer of kindness or\r\ncivility with pleasure, now shrunk away disgusted: peevishly she desired\r\nhim not to disturb her; but the words were hardly articulated when her\r\nheart smote her, she called him back, and requested something to drink.\r\nAfter drinking it, fatigued by her mental exertions, she fell into a\r\ndeath-like slumber, which lasted some hours; but did not refresh her, on\r\nthe contrary, she awoke languid and stupid.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe wind still continued contrary; a week, a dismal week, had she\r\nstruggled \u003ca name=\"Page_121\" id=\"Page_121\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ewith her sorrows; and the struggle brought on a slow fever,\r\nwhich sometimes gave her false spirits.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe winds then became very tempestuous, the Great Deep was troubled, and\r\nall the passengers appalled. Mary then left her bed, and went on deck,\r\nto survey the contending elements: the scene accorded with the present\r\nstate of her soul; she thought in a few hours I may go home; the\r\nprisoner may be released. The vessel rose on a wave and descended into a\r\nyawning gulph\u0026mdash;Not slower did her mounting soul return to earth,\r\nfor\u0026mdash;Ah! her treasure and her heart was there. The squalls rattled\r\namongst the sails, which were quickly taken down; the wind would then\r\ndie away, and the wild undirected waves rushed on every side with a\r\ntremendous roar. In a little vessel in the midst of \u003ca name=\"Page_122\" id=\"Page_122\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003esuch a storm she\r\nwas not dismayed; she felt herself independent.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eJust then one of the crew perceived a signal of distress; by the help of\r\na glass he could plainly discover a small vessel dismasted, drifted\r\nabout, for the rudder had been broken by the violence of the storm.\r\nMary\u0027s thoughts were now all engrossed by the crew on the brink of\r\ndestruction. They bore down to the wreck; they reached it, and hailed\r\nthe trembling wretches; at the sound of the friendly greeting, loud\r\ncries of tumultuous joy were mixed with the roaring of the waves, and\r\nwith ecstatic transport they leaped on the shattered deck, launched\r\ntheir boat in a moment, and committed themselves to the mercy of the\r\nsea. Stowed between two casks, and leaning on a sail, she watched the\r\nboat, and when a wave intercepted it from her \u003ca name=\"Page_123\" id=\"Page_123\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eview\u0026mdash;she ceased to\r\nbreathe, or rather held her breath until it rose again.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eAt last the boat arrived safe along-side the ship, and Mary caught the\r\npoor trembling wretches as they stumbled into it, and joined them in\r\nthanking that gracious Being, who though He had not thought fit to still\r\nthe raging of the sea, had afforded them unexpected succour.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eAmongst the wretched crew was one poor woman, who fainted when she was\r\nhauled on board: Mary undressed her, and when she had recovered, and\r\nsoothed her, left her to enjoy the rest she required to recruit her\r\nstrength, which fear had quite exhausted. She returned again to view the\r\nangry deep; and when she gazed on its perturbed state, she thought of\r\nthe Being who rode on the wings of the wind, and stilled the noise of\r\nthe sea; and the madness of the people\u0026mdash;He \u003ca name=\"Page_124\" id=\"Page_124\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eonly could speak peace to\r\nher troubled spirit! she grew more calm; the late transaction had\r\ngratified her benevolence, and stole her out of herself.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eOne of the sailors, happening to say to another, \"that he believed the\r\nworld was going to be at an end;\" this observation led her into a new\r\ntrain of thoughts: some of Handel\u0027s sublime compositions occurred to\r\nher, and she sung them to the grand accompaniment. The Lord God\r\nOmnipotent reigned, and would reign for ever, and ever!\u0026mdash;Why then did\r\nshe fear the sorrows that were passing away, when she knew that He would\r\nbind up the broken-hearted, and receive those who came out of great\r\ntribulation. She retired to her cabin; and wrote in the little book that\r\nwas now her only confident. It was after midnight.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_125\" id=\"Page_125\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\"At this solemn hour, the great day of judgment fills my thoughts; the\r\nday of retribution, when the secrets of all hearts will be revealed;\r\nwhen all worldly distinctions will fade away, and be no more seen. I\r\nhave not words to express the sublime images which the bare\r\ncontemplation of this awful day raises in my mind. Then, indeed, the\r\nLord Omnipotent will reign, and He will wipe the tearful eye, and\r\nsupport the trembling heart\u0026mdash;yet a little while He hideth his face, and\r\nthe dun shades of sorrow, and the thick clouds of folly separate us from\r\nour God; but when the glad dawn of an eternal day breaks, we shall know\r\neven as we are known. Here we walk by faith, and not by sight; and we\r\nhave this alternative, either to enjoy the pleasures of life \u003ca name=\"Page_126\" id=\"Page_126\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ewhich are\r\nbut for a season, or look forward to the prize of our high calling, and\r\nwith fortitude, and that wisdom which is from above, endeavour to bear\r\nthe warfare of life. We know that many run the race; but he that\r\nstriveth obtaineth the crown of victory. Our race is an arduous one! How\r\nmany are betrayed by traitors lodged in their own breasts, who wear the\r\ngarb of Virtue, and are so near akin; we sigh to think they should ever\r\nlead into folly, and slide imperceptibly into vice. Surely any thing\r\nlike happiness is madness! Shall probationers of an hour presume to\r\npluck the fruit of immortality, before they have conquered death? it is\r\nguarded, when the great day, to which I allude, arrives, the way will\r\nagain be opened. Ye dear delusions, gay deceits, fare\u003ca name=\"Page_127\" id=\"Page_127\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ewel! and yet I\r\ncannot banish ye for ever; still does my panting soul push forward, and\r\nlive in futurity, in the deep shades o\u0027er which darkness hangs.\u0026mdash;I try\r\nto pierce the gloom, and find a resting-place, where my thirst of\r\nknowledge will be gratified, and my ardent affections find an object to\r\nfix them. Every thing material must change; happiness and this\r\nfluctating principle is not compatible. Eternity, immateriality, and\r\nhappiness,\u0026mdash;what are ye? How shall I grasp the mighty and fleeting\r\nconceptions ye create?\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eAfter writing, serenely she delivered her soul into the hands of the\r\nFather of Spirits; and slept in peace.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_128\" id=\"Page_128\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_XXI\" id=\"CHAP_XXI\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. XXI.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eMary rose early, refreshed by the seasonable rest, and went to visit the\r\npoor woman, whom she found quite recovered: and, on enquiry, heard that\r\nshe had lately buried her husband, a common sailor; and that her only\r\nsurviving child had been washed over-board the day before. Full of her\r\nown danger, she scarcely thought of her child till that was over; and\r\nthen she gave way to boisterous emotions.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eMary endeavoured to calm her at first, by sympathizing with her; and she\r\ntried to point out the only solid source of comfort but in doing this\r\nshe encountered many difficulties; she found her grossly \u003ca name=\"Page_129\" id=\"Page_129\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eignorant, yet\r\nshe did not despair: and as the poor creature could not receive comfort\r\nfrom the operations of her own mind, she laboured to beguile the hours,\r\nwhich grief made heavy, by adapting her conversation to her capacity.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThere are many minds that only receive impressions through the medium of\r\nthe senses: to them did Mary address herself; she made her some\r\npresents, and promised to assist her when they should arrive in England.\r\nThis employment roused her out of her late stupor, and again set the\r\nfaculties of her soul in motion; made the understanding contend with the\r\nimagination, and the heart throbbed not so irregularly during the\r\ncontention. How short-lived was the calm! when the English coast was\r\ndescried, her sorrows returned with redoubled vigor.\u0026mdash;She was to visit\r\nand comfort the mother \u003ca name=\"Page_130\" id=\"Page_130\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eof her lost friend\u0026mdash;And where then should she\r\ntake up her residence? These thoughts suspended the exertions of her\r\nunderstanding; abstracted reflections gave way to alarming\r\napprehensions; and tenderness undermined fortitude.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_131\" id=\"Page_131\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_XXII\" id=\"CHAP_XXII\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. XXII.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eIn England then landed the forlorn wanderer. She looked round for some\r\nfew moments\u0026mdash;her affections were not attracted to any particular part of\r\nthe Island. She knew none of the inhabitants of the vast city to which\r\nshe was going: the mass of buildings appeared to her a huge body without\r\nan informing soul. As she passed through the streets in an\r\nhackney-coach, disgust and horror alternately filled her mind. She met\r\nsome women drunk; and the manners of those who attacked the sailors,\r\nmade her shrink into herself, and exclaim, are these my fellow\r\ncreatures!\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_132\" id=\"Page_132\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eDetained by a number of carts near the water-side, for she came up the\r\nriver in the vessel, not having reason to hasten on shore, she saw\r\nvulgarity, dirt, and vice\u0026mdash;her soul sickened; this was the first time\r\nsuch complicated misery obtruded itself on her sight.\u0026mdash;Forgetting her\r\nown griefs, she gave the world a much indebted tear; mourned for a world\r\nin ruins. She then perceived, that great part of her comfort must arise\r\nfrom viewing the smiling face of nature, and be reflected from the view\r\nof innocent enjoyments: she was fond of seeing animals play, and could\r\nnot bear to see her own species sink below them.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eIn a little dwelling in one of the villages near London, lived the\r\nmother of Ann; two of her children still remained with her; but they did\r\nnot resemble Ann.\u003ca name=\"Page_133\" id=\"Page_133\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e To her house Mary directed the coach, and told the\r\nunfortunate mother of her loss. The poor woman, oppressed by it, and her\r\nmany other cares, after an inundation of tears, began to enumerate all\r\nher past misfortunes, and present cares. The heavy tale lasted until\r\nmidnight, and the impression it made on Mary\u0027s mind was so strong, that\r\nit banished sleep till towards morning; when tired nature sought\r\nforgetfulness, and the soul ceased to ruminate about many things.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe sent for the poor woman they took up at sea, provided her a lodging,\r\nand relieved her present necessities. A few days were spent in a kind of\r\nlistless way; then the mother of Ann began to enquire when she thought\r\nof returning home. She had hitherto treated her with the greatest\r\nrespect, and concealed \u003ca name=\"Page_134\" id=\"Page_134\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eher wonder at Mary\u0027s choosing a remote room in\r\nthe house near the garden, and ordering some alterations to be made, as\r\nif she intended living in it.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eMary did not choose to explain herself; had Ann lived, it is probable\r\nshe would never have loved Henry so fondly; but if she had, she could\r\nnot have talked of her passion to any human creature. She deliberated,\r\nand at last informed the family, that she had a reason for not living\r\nwith her husband, which must some time remain a secret\u0026mdash;they stared\u0026mdash;Not\r\nlive with him! how will you live then? This was a question she could not\r\nanswer; she had only about eighty pounds remaining, of the money she\r\ntook with her to Lisbon; when it was exhausted where could she get more?\r\nI will work, she cried, do any thing rather than be a slave.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_135\" id=\"Page_135\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_XXIII\" id=\"CHAP_XXIII\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. XXIII.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eUnhappy, she wandered about the village, and relieved the poor; it was\r\nthe only employment that eased her aching heart; she became more\r\nintimate with misery\u0026mdash;the misery that rises from poverty and the want of\r\neducation. She was in the vicinity of a great city; the vicious poor in\r\nand about it must ever grieve a benevolent contemplative mind.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eOne evening a man who stood weeping in a little lane, near the house she\r\nresided in, caught her eye. She accosted him; in a confused manner, he\r\ninformed her, that his wife was dying, and his children crying for the\r\nbread he could not \u003ca name=\"Page_136\" id=\"Page_136\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eearn. Mary desired to be conducted to his\r\nhabitation; it was not very distant, and was the upper room in an old\r\nmansion-house, which had been once the abode of luxury. Some tattered\r\nshreds of rich hangings still remained, covered with cobwebs and filth;\r\nround the ceiling, through which the rain drop\u0027d, was a beautiful\r\ncornice mouldering; and a spacious gallery was rendered dark by the\r\nbroken windows being blocked up; through the apertures the wind forced\r\nits way in hollow sounds, and reverberated along the former scene of\r\nfestivity.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eIt was crowded with inhabitants: som were scolding, others swearing, or\r\nsinging indecent songs. What a sight for Mary! Her blood ran cold; yet\r\nshe had sufficient resolution to mount to the top of the house. On the\r\nfloor, in one \u003ca name=\"Page_137\" id=\"Page_137\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ecorner of a very small room, lay an emaciated figure of a\r\nwoman; a window over her head scarcely admitted any light, for the\r\nbroken panes were stuffed with dirty rags. Near her were five children,\r\nall young, and covered with dirt; their sallow cheeks, and languid eyes,\r\nexhibited none of the charms of childhood. Some were fighting, and\r\nothers crying for food; their yells were mixed with their mother\u0027s\r\ngroans, and the wind which rushed through the passage. Mary was\r\npetrified; but soon assuming more courage, approached the bed, and,\r\nregardless of the surrounding nastiness, knelt down by the poor wretch,\r\nand breathed the most poisonous air; for the unfortunate creature was\r\ndying of a putrid fever, the consequence of dirt and want.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eTheir state did not require much expla\u003ca name=\"Page_138\" id=\"Page_138\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003enation. Mary sent the husband for\r\na poor neighbour, whom she hired to nurse the woman, and take care of\r\nthe children; and then went herself to buy them some necessaries at a\r\nshop not far distant. Her knowledge of physic had enabled her to\r\nprescribe for the woman; and she left the house, with a mixture of\r\nhorror and satisfaction.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe visited them every day, and procured them every comfort; contrary to\r\nher expectation, the woman began to recover; cleanliness and wholesome\r\nfood had a wonderful effect; and Mary saw her rising as it were from the\r\ngrave. Not aware of the danger she ran into, she did not think of it\r\ntill she perceived she had caught the fever. It made such an alarming\r\nprogress, that she was prevailed on to send for a physician; but the\r\ndisorder was so violent, that for some days it \u003ca name=\"Page_139\" id=\"Page_139\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ebaffled his skill; and\r\nMary felt not her danger, as she was delirious. After the crisis, the\r\nsymptoms were more favourable, and she slowly recovered, without\r\nregaining much strength or spirits; indeed they were intolerably low:\r\nshe wanted a tender nurse.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eFor some time she had observed, that she was not treated with the same\r\nrespect as formerly; her favors were forgotten when no more were\r\nexpected. This ingratitude hurt her, as did a similar instance in the\r\nwoman who came out of the ship. Mary had hitherto supported her; as her\r\nfinances were growing low, she hinted to her, that she ought to try to\r\nearn her own subsistence: the woman in return loaded her with abuse.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eTwo months were elapsed; she had not seen, or heard from Henry. He \u003ca name=\"Page_140\" id=\"Page_140\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ewas\r\nsick\u0026mdash;nay, perhaps had forgotten her; all the world was dreary, and all\r\nthe people ungrateful.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe sunk into apathy, and endeavouring to rouse herself out of it, she\r\nwrote in her book another fragment:\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"Surely life is a dream, a frightful one! and after those rude,\r\ndisjointed images are fled, will light ever break in? Shall I ever feel\r\njoy? Do all suffer like me; or am I framed so as to be particularly\r\nsusceptible of misery? It is true, I have experienced the most rapturous\r\nemotions\u0026mdash;short-lived delight!\u0026mdash;ethereal beam, which only serves to shew\r\nmy present misery\u0026mdash;yet lie still, my throbbing heart, or burst; and my\r\nbrain\u0026mdash;why dost thou whirl about at such a terrifying rate? why do\r\nthoughts so rapidly rush into my mind, and yet when they disappear\r\n\u003ca name=\"Page_141\" id=\"Page_141\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eleave such deep traces? I could almost wish for the madman\u0027s happiness,\r\nand in a strong imagination lose a sense of woe.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"Oh! reason, thou boasted guide, why desert me, like the world, when I\r\nmost need thy assistance! Canst thou not calm this internal tumult, and\r\ndrive away the death-like sadness which presses so sorely on me,\u0026mdash;a\r\nsadness surely very nearly allied to despair. I am now the prey of\r\napathy\u0026mdash;I could wish for the former storms! a ray of hope sometimes\r\nillumined my path; I had a pursuit; but now \u003ci\u003eit visits not my haunts\r\nforlorn\u003c/i\u003e. Too well have I loved my fellow creatures! I have been wounded\r\nby ingratitude; from every one it has something of the serpent\u0027s tooth.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"When overwhelmed by sorrow, I have \u003ca name=\"Page_142\" id=\"Page_142\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003emet unkindness; I looked for some\r\none to have pity on me; but found none!\u0026mdash;The healing balm of sympathy is\r\ndenied; I weep, a solitary wretch, and the hot tears scald my cheeks. I\r\nhave not the medicine of life, the dear chimera I have so often chased,\r\na friend. Shade of my loved Ann! dost thou ever visit thy poor Mary?\r\nRefined spirit, thou wouldst weep, could angels weep, to see her\r\nstruggling with passions she cannot subdue; and feelings which corrode\r\nher small portion of comfort!\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe could not write any more; she wished herself far distant from all\r\nhuman society; a thick gloom spread itself over her mind: but did not\r\nmake her forget the very beings she wished to fly from. She sent for the\r\npoor woman she found in the garret; gave her money to clothe \u003ca name=\"Page_143\" id=\"Page_143\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eherself\r\nand children, and buy some furniture for a little hut, in a large\r\ngarden, the master of which agreed to employ her husband, who had been\r\nbred a gardener. Mary promised to visit the family, and see their new\r\nabode when she was able to go out.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_144\" id=\"Page_144\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_XXIV\" id=\"CHAP_XXIV\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. XXIV.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eMary still continued weak and low, though it was spring, and all nature\r\nbegan to look gay; with more than usual brightness the sun shone, and a\r\nlittle robin which she had cherished during the winter sung one of his\r\nbest songs. The family were particularly civil this fine morning, and\r\ntried to prevail on her to walk out. Any thing like kindness melted her;\r\nshe consented.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eSofter emotions banished her melancholy, and she directed her steps to\r\nthe habitation she had rendered comfortable.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eEmerging out of a dreary chamber, all nature looked cheerful; when she\r\nhad last walked out, snow covered the \u003ca name=\"Page_145\" id=\"Page_145\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eground, and bleak winds pierced\r\nher through and through: now the hedges were green, the blossoms adorned\r\nthe trees, and the birds sung. She reached the dwelling, without being\r\nmuch exhausted and while she rested there, observed the children\r\nsporting on the grass, with improved complexions. The mother with tears\r\nthanked her deliverer, and pointed out her comforts. Mary\u0027s tears flowed\r\nnot only from sympathy, but a complication of feelings and recollections\r\nthe affections which bound her to her fellow creatures began again to\r\nplay, and reanimated nature. She observed the change in herself, tried\r\nto account for it, and wrote with her pencil a rhapsody on sensibility.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"Sensibility is the most exquisite feeling of which the human soul is\r\nsusceptible: when it pervades us, we feel \u003ca name=\"Page_146\" id=\"Page_146\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ehappy; and could it last\r\nunmixed, we might form some conjecture of the bliss of those\r\nparadisiacal days, when the obedient passions were under the dominion of\r\nreason, and the impulses of the heart did not need correction.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"It is this quickness, this delicacy of feeling, which enables us to\r\nrelish the sublime touches of the poet, and the painter; it is this,\r\nwhich expands the soul, gives an enthusiastic greatness, mixed with\r\ntenderness, when we view the magnificent objects of nature; or hear of a\r\ngood action. The same effect we experience in the spring, when we hail\r\nthe returning sun, and the consequent renovation of nature; when the\r\nflowers unfold themselves, and exhale their sweets, and the voice of\r\nmusic is heard in the land. Softened by tenderness; the soul is\r\ndis\u003ca name=\"Page_147\" id=\"Page_147\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eposed to be virtuous. Is any sensual gratification to be compared to\r\nthat of feelings the eves moistened after having comforted the\r\nunfortunate?\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"Sensibility is indeed the foundation of all our happiness; but these\r\nraptures are unknown to the depraved sensualist, who is only moved by\r\nwhat strikes his gross senses; the delicate embellishments of nature\r\nescape his notice; as do the gentle and interesting affections.\u0026mdash;But it\r\nis only to be felt; it escapes discussion.\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe then returned home, and partook of the family meal, which was\r\nrendered more cheerful by the presence of a man, past the meridian of\r\nlife, of polished manners, and dazzling wit. He endeavoured to draw Mary\r\nout, and succeeded; she entered into conversation, and some of her\r\nartless flights of genius struck \u003ca name=\"Page_148\" id=\"Page_148\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ehim with surprise; he found she had a\r\ncapacious mind, and that her reason was as profound as her imagination\r\nwas lively. She glanced from earth to heaven, and caught the light of\r\ntruth. Her expressive countenance shewed what passed in her mind, and\r\nher tongue was ever the faithful interpreter of her heart; duplicity\r\nnever threw a shade over her words or actions. Mary found him a man of\r\nlearning; and the exercise of her understanding would frequently make\r\nher forget her griefs, when nothing else could, except benevolence.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThis man had known the mistress of the house in her youth; good nature\r\ninduced him to visit her; but when he saw Mary he had another\r\ninducement. Her appearance, and above all, her genius, and cultivation\r\nof mind, roused his curiosity; but her dignified manners \u003ca name=\"Page_149\" id=\"Page_149\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ehad such an\r\neffect on him, he was obliged to suppress it. He knew men, as well as\r\nbooks; his conversation was entertaining and improving. In Mary\u0027s\r\ncompany he doubted whether heaven was peopled with spirits masculine;\r\nand almost forgot that he had called the sex \"the pretty play things\r\nthat render life tolerable.\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHe had been the slave of beauty, the captive of sense; love he ne\u0027er had\r\nfelt; the mind never rivetted the chain, nor had the purity of it made\r\nthe body appear lovely in his eyes. He was humane, despised meanness;\r\nbut was vain of his abilities, and by no means a useful member of\r\nsociety. He talked often of the beauty of virtue; but not having any\r\nsolid foundation to build the practice on, he was only a shining, or\r\nrather a sparkling character: and though his \u003ca name=\"Page_150\" id=\"Page_150\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003efortune enabled him to\r\nhunt down pleasure, he was discontented.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eMary observed his character, and wrote down a train of reflections,\r\nwhich these observations led her to make; these reflections received a\r\ntinge from her mind; the present state of it, was that kind of painful\r\nquietness which arises from reason clouded by disgust; she had not yet\r\nlearned to be resigned; vague hopes agitated her.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"There are some subjects that are so enveloped in clouds, as you\r\ndissipate one, another overspreads it. Of this kind are our reasonings\r\nconcerning happiness; till we are obliged to cry out with the Apostle,\r\n\u003ci\u003eThat it hath not entered into the heart of man to conceive in what it\r\ncould consist\u003c/i\u003e, or how satiety could be prevented. Man seems formed for\r\naction, though the \u003ca name=\"Page_151\" id=\"Page_151\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003epassions are seldom properly managed; they are\r\neither so languid as not to serve as a spur, or else so violent, as to\r\noverleap all bounds.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"Every individual has its own peculiar trials; and anguish, in one shape\r\nor other, visits every heart. Sensibility produces flights of virtue;\r\nand not curbed by reason, is on the brink of vice talking, and even\r\nthinking of virtue.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"Christianity can only afford just principles to govern the wayward\r\nfeelings and impulses of the heart: every good disposition runs wild, if\r\nnot transplanted into this soil; but how hard is it to keep the heart\r\ndiligently, though convinced that the issues of life depend on it.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"It is very difficult to discipline the mind of a thinker, or reconcile\r\nhim \u003ca name=\"Page_152\" id=\"Page_152\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eto the weakness, the inconsistency of his understanding; and a\r\nstill more laborious task for him to conquer his passions, and learn to\r\nseek content, instead of happiness. Good dispositions, and virtuous\r\npropensities, without the light of the Gospel, produce eccentric\r\ncharacters: comet-like, they are always in extremes; while revelation\r\nresembles the laws of attraction, and produces uniformity; but too often\r\nis the attraction feeble; and the light so obscured by passion, as to\r\nforce the bewildered soul to fly into void space, and wander in\r\nconfusion.\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_153\" id=\"Page_153\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_XXV\" id=\"CHAP_XXV\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. XXV.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eA few mornings after, as Mary was sitting ruminating, harassed by\r\nperplexing thoughts, and fears, a letter was delivered to her: the\r\nservant waited for an answer. Her heart palpitated; it was from Henry;\r\nshe held it some time in her hand, then tore it open; it was not a long\r\none; and only contained an account of a relapse, which prevented his\r\nsailing in the first packet, as he had intended. Some tender enquiries\r\nwere added, concerning her health, and state of mind; but they were\r\nexpressed in rather a formal style: it vexed her, and the more so, as it\r\nstopped the current of affection, which the account of his arrival and\r\nillness had made flow to her \u003ca name=\"Page_154\" id=\"Page_154\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eheart\u0026mdash;it ceased to beat for a moment\u0026mdash;she\r\nread the passage over again; but could not tell what she was hurt\r\nby\u0026mdash;only that it did not answer the expectations of her affection. She\r\nwrote a laconic, incoherent note in return, allowing him to call on her\r\nthe next day\u0026mdash;he had requested permission at the conclusion of his\r\nletter.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHer mind was then painfully active; she could not read or walk; she\r\ntried to fly from herself, to forget the long hours that were yet to run\r\nbefore to-morrow could arrive: she knew not what time he would come;\r\ncertainly in the morning, she concluded; the morning then was anxiously\r\nwished for; and every wish produced a sigh, that arose from expectation\r\non the stretch, damped by fear and vain regret.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eTo beguile the tedious time, Henry\u0027s favorite tunes were sung; the books\r\n\u003ca name=\"Page_155\" id=\"Page_155\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ethey read together turned over; and the short epistle read at least a\r\nhundred times.\u0026mdash;Any one who had seen her, would have supposed that she\r\nwas trying to decypher Chinese characters.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eAfter a sleepless night, she hailed the tardy day, watched the rising\r\nsun, and then listened for every footstep, and started if she heard the\r\nstreet door opened. At last he came, and she who had been counting the\r\nhours, and doubting whether the earth moved, would gladly have escaped\r\nthe approaching interview.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eWith an unequal, irresolute pace, she went to meet him; but when she\r\nbeheld his emaciated countenance, all the tenderness, which the\r\nformality of his letter had damped, returned, and a mournful\r\npresentiment stilled the internal conflict. She caught his hand, and\r\nlooking wist\u003ca name=\"Page_156\" id=\"Page_156\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003efully at him, exclaimed, \"Indeed, you are not well!\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"I am very far from well; but it matters not,\" added he with a smile of\r\nresignation; \"my native air may work wonders, and besides, my mother is\r\na tender nurse, and I shall sometimes see thee.\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eMary felt for the first time in her life, envy; she wished\r\ninvoluntarily, that all the comfort he received should be from her. She\r\nenquired about the symptoms of his disorder; and heard that he had been\r\nvery ill; she hastily drove away the fears, that former dear bought\r\nexperience suggested: and again and again did she repeat, that she was\r\nsure he would soon recover. She would then look in his face, to see if\r\nhe assented, and ask more questions to the same purport. She tried to\r\navoid speaking of \u003ca name=\"Page_157\" id=\"Page_157\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eherself, and Henry left her, with, a promise of\r\nvisiting her the next day.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHer mind was now engrossed by one fear\u0026mdash;yet she would not allow herself\r\nto think that she feared an event she could not name. She still saw his\r\npale face; the sound of his voice still vibrated on her ears; she tried\r\nto retain it; she listened, looked round, wept, and prayed.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHenry had enlightened the desolate scene: was this charm of life to fade\r\naway, and, like the baseless fabric of a vision, leave not a wreck\r\nbehind? These thoughts disturbed her reason, she shook her head, as if\r\nto drive them out of it; a weight, a heavy one, was on her heart; all\r\nwas not well there.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eOut of this reverie she was soon woke to keener anguish, by the arrival\r\nof a letter from her husband; it came to Lisbon after her departure:\r\nHenry had \u003ca name=\"Page_158\" id=\"Page_158\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eforwarded it to her, but did not choose to deliver it\r\nhimself, for a very obvious reason; it might have produced a\r\nconversation he wished for some time to avoid; and his precaution took\r\nits rise almost equally from benevolence and love.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe could not muster up sufficient resolution to break the seal: her\r\nfears were not prophetic, for the contents gave her comfort. He informed\r\nher that he intended prolonging his tour, as he was now his own master,\r\nand wished to remain some time on the continent, and in particular to\r\nvisit Italy without any restraint: but his reasons for it appeared\r\nchildish; it was not to cultivate his taste, or tread on classic ground,\r\nwhere poets and philosophers caught their lore; but to join in the\r\nmasquerades, and such burlesque amusements.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_159\" id=\"Page_159\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eThese instances of folly relieved Mary, in some degree reconciled her\r\nto herself added fuel to the devouring flame\u0026mdash;and silenced something\r\nlike a pang, which reason and conscience made her feel, when she\r\nreflected, that it is the office of Religion to reconcile us to the\r\nseemingly hard dispensations of providence; and that no inclination,\r\nhowever strong, should oblige us to desert the post assigned us, or\r\nforce us to forget that virtue should be an active principle; and that\r\nthe most desirable station, is the one that exercises our faculties,\r\nrefines our affections, and enables us to be useful.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eOne reflection continually wounded her repose; she feared not poverty;\r\nher wants were few; but in giving up a fortune, she gave up the power of\r\ncomforting the miserable, and making the sad heart sing for joy.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_160\" id=\"Page_160\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eHeaven had endowed her with uncommon humanity, to render her one of His\r\nbenevolent agents, a messenger of peace; and should she attend to her\r\nown inclinations?\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThese suggestions, though they could not subdue a violent passion,\r\nincreased her misery. One moment she was a heroine, half determined to\r\nbear whatever fate should inflict; the next, her mind would recoil\u0026mdash;and\r\ntenderness possessed her whole soul. Some instances of Henry\u0027s\r\naffection, his worth and genius, were remembered: and the earth was only\r\na vale of tears, because he was not to sojourn with her.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_161\" id=\"Page_161\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_XXVI\" id=\"CHAP_XXVI\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. XXVI.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHenry came the next day, and once or twice in the course of the\r\nfollowing week; but still Mary kept up some little formality, a certain\r\nconsciousness restrained her; and Henry did not enter on the subject\r\nwhich he found she wished to avoid. In the course of conversation,\r\nhowever, she mentioned to him, that she earnestly desired to obtain a\r\nplace in one of the public offices for Ann\u0027s brother, as the family were\r\nagain in a declining way.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHenry attended, made a few enquiries, and dropped the subject; but the\r\nfollowing week, she heard him enter with unusual haste; it was to inform\r\nher, that \u003ca name=\"Page_162\" id=\"Page_162\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ehe had made interest with a person of some consequence, whom\r\nhe had once obliged in a very disagreeable exigency, in a foreign\r\ncountry; and that he had procured a place for her friend, which would\r\ninfallibly lead to something better, if he behaved with propriety. Mary\r\ncould not speak to thank him; emotions of gratitude and love suffused\r\nher face; her blood eloquently spoke. She delighted to receive benefits\r\nthrough the medium of her fellow creatures; but to receive them from\r\nHenry was exquisite pleasure.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eAs the summer advanced, Henry grew worse; the closeness of the air, in\r\nthe metropolis, affected his breath; and his mother insisted on his\r\nfixing on some place in the country, where she would accompany him. He\r\ncould not think of going far off, but chose a little vil\u003ca name=\"Page_163\" id=\"Page_163\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003elage on the\r\nbanks of the Thames, near Mary\u0027s dwelling: he then introduced her to his\r\nmother.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThey frequently went down the river in a boat; Henry would take his\r\nviolin, and Mary would sometimes sing, or read, to them. She pleased his\r\nmother; she inchanted him. It was an advantage to Mary that friendship\r\nfirst possessed her heart; it opened it to all the softer sentiments of\r\nhumanity:\u0026mdash;and when this first affection was torn away, a similar one\r\nsprung up, with a still tenderer sentiment added to it.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe last evening they were on the water, the clouds grew suddenly black,\r\nand broke in violent showers, which interrupted the solemn stillness\r\nthat had prevailed previous to it. The thunder roared; and the oars\r\nplying quickly, in order to reach the shore, occasioned a \u003ca name=\"Page_164\" id=\"Page_164\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003enot\r\nunpleasing sound. Mary drew still nearer Henry; she wished to have\r\nsought with him a watry grave; to have escaped the horror of surviving\r\nhim.\u0026mdash;She spoke not, but Henry saw the workings of her mind\u0026mdash;he felt\r\nthem; threw his arm round her waist\u0026mdash;and they enjoyed the luxury of\r\nwretchedness.\u0026mdash;As they touched the shore, Mary perceived that Henry was\r\nwet; with eager anxiety she cried, What shall I do!\u0026mdash;this day will kill\r\nthee, and I shall not die with thee!\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThis accident put a stop to their pleasurable excursions; it had injured\r\nhim, and brought on the spitting of blood he was subject to\u0026mdash;perhaps it\r\nwas not the cold that he caught, that occasioned it. In vain did Mary\r\ntry to shut her eyes; her fate pursued her! Henry every day grew worse\r\nand worse.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_165\" id=\"Page_165\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_XXVII\" id=\"CHAP_XXVII\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. XXVII.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eOppressed by her foreboding fears, her sore mind was hurt by new\r\ninstances of ingratitude: disgusted with the family, whose misfortunes\r\nhad often disturbed her repose, and lost in anticipated sorrow, she\r\nrambled she knew not where; when turning down a shady walk, she\r\ndiscovered her feet had taken the path they delighted to tread. She saw\r\nHenry sitting in his garden alone; he quickly opened the garden-gate,\r\nand she sat down by him.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"I did not,\" said he, \"expect to see thee this evening, my dearest Mary;\r\nbut I was thinking of thee. Heaven has endowed thee with an uncommon\r\n\u003ca name=\"Page_166\" id=\"Page_166\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eportion of fortitude, to support one of the most affectionate hearts in\r\nthe world. This is not a time for disguise; I know I am dear to\r\nthee\u0026mdash;and my affection for thee is twisted with every fibre of my\r\nheart.\u0026mdash;I loved thee ever since I have been acquainted with thine: thou\r\nart the being my fancy has delighted to form; but which I imagined\r\nexisted only there! In a little while the shades of death will encompass\r\nme\u0026mdash;ill-fated love perhaps added strength to my disease, and smoothed\r\nthe rugged path. Try, my love, to fulfil thy destined course\u0026mdash;try to add\r\nto thy other virtues patience. I could have wished, for thy sake, that\r\nwe could have died together\u0026mdash;or that I could live to shield thee from\r\nthe assaults of an unfeeling world! Could I but offer thee an \u003ca name=\"Page_167\" id=\"Page_167\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003easylum in\r\nthese arms\u0026mdash;a faithful bosom, in which thou couldst repose all thy\r\ngriefs\u0026mdash;\" He pressed her to it, and she returned the pressure\u0026mdash;he felt her\r\nthrobbing heart. A mournful silence ensued! when he resumed the\r\nconversation. \"I wished to prepare thee for the blow\u0026mdash;too surely do I\r\nfeel that it will not be long delayed! The passion I have nursed is so\r\npure, that death cannot extinguish it\u0026mdash;or tear away the impression thy\r\nvirtues have made on my soul. I would fain comfort thee\u0026mdash;\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"Talk not of comfort,\" interrupted Mary, \"it will be in heaven with thee\r\nand Ann\u0026mdash;while I shall remain on earth the veriest wretch!\"\u0026mdash;She grasped\r\nhis hand.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"There we shall meet, my love, my Mary, in our Father\u0027s\u0026mdash;\" His voice\r\n\u003ca name=\"Page_168\" id=\"Page_168\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003efaultered; he could not finish the sentence; he was almost\r\nsuffocated\u0026mdash;they both wept, their tears relieved them; they walked\r\nslowly to the garden-gate (Mary would not go into the house); they could\r\nnot say farewel when they reached it\u0026mdash;and Mary hurried down the lane; to\r\nspare Henry the pain of witnessing her emotions.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eWhen she lost sight of the house she sat down on the ground, till it\r\ngrew late, thinking of all that had passed. Full of these thoughts, she\r\ncrept along, regardless of the descending rain; when lifting up her eyes\r\nto heaven, and then turning them wildly on the prospects around, without\r\nmarking them; she only felt that the scene accorded with her present\r\nstate of mind. It was the last glimmering of twilight, with a full moon,\r\nover which clouds continually \u003ca name=\"Page_169\" id=\"Page_169\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eflitted. Where am I wandering, God of\r\nMercy! she thought; she alluded to the wanderings of her mind. In what a\r\nlabyrinth am I lost! What miseries have I already encountered\u0026mdash;and what\r\na number lie still before me.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHer thoughts flew rapidly to something. I could be happy listening to\r\nhim, soothing his cares.\u0026mdash;Would he not smile upon me\u0026mdash;call me his own\r\nMary? I am not his\u0026mdash;said she with fierceness\u0026mdash;I am a wretch! and she\r\nheaved a sigh that almost broke her heart, while the big tears rolled\r\ndown her burning cheeks; but still her exercised mind, accustomed to\r\nthink, began to observe its operation, though the barrier of reason was\r\nalmost carried away, and all the faculties not restrained by her, were\r\nrunning into confusion. Wherefore am I made thus? Vain are my\r\n\u003ca name=\"Page_170\" id=\"Page_170\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eefforts\u0026mdash;I cannot live without loving\u0026mdash;and love leads to madness.\u0026mdash;Yet\r\nI will not weep; and her eyes were now fixed by despair, dry and\r\nmotionless; and then quickly whirled about with a look of distraction.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe looked for hope; but found none\u0026mdash;all was troubled waters.\u0026mdash;No where\r\ncould she find rest. I have already paced to and fro in the earth; it is\r\nnot my abiding place\u0026mdash;may I not too go home! Ah! no. Is this complying\r\nwith my Henry\u0027s request, could a spirit thus disengaged expect to\r\nassociate with his? Tears of tenderness strayed down her relaxed\r\ncountenance, and her softened heart heaved more regularly. She felt the\r\nrain, and turned to her solitary home.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eFatigued by the tumultuous emotions she had endured, when she entered\r\nthe \u003ca name=\"Page_171\" id=\"Page_171\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ehouse she ran to her own room, sunk on the bed; and exhausted\r\nnature soon closed her eyes; but active fancy was still awake, and a\r\nthousand fearful dreams interrupted her slumbers.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eFeverish and languid, she opened her eyes, and saw the unwelcome sun\r\ndart his rays through a window, the curtains of which she had forgotten\r\nto draw. The dew hung on the adjacent trees, and added to the lustre;\r\nthe little robin began his song, and distant birds joined. She looked;\r\nher countenance was still vacant\u0026mdash;her sensibility was absorbed by one\r\nobject.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eDid I ever admire the rising sun, she slightly thought, turning from the\r\nWindow, and shutting her eyes: she recalled to view the last night\u0027s\r\nscene. His faltering voice, lingering step, and the look of tender woe,\r\nwere all graven \u003ca name=\"Page_172\" id=\"Page_172\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eon her heart; as were the words \"Could these arms\r\nshield thee from sorrow\u0026mdash;afford thee an asylum from an unfeeling world.\"\r\nThe pressure to his bosom was not forgot. For a moment she was happy;\r\nbut in a long-drawn sigh every delightful sensation evaporated.\r\nSoon\u0026mdash;yes, very soon, will the grave again receive all I love! and the\r\nremnant of my days\u0026mdash;she could not proceed\u0026mdash;Were there then days to come\r\nafter that?\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_173\" id=\"Page_173\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_XXVIII\" id=\"CHAP_XXVIII\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. XXVIII.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eJust as she was going to quit her room, to visit Henry, his mother\r\ncalled on her.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\"My son is worse to-day,\" said she, \"I come to request you to spend not\r\nonly this day, but a week or two with me.\u0026mdash;Why should I conceal any\r\nthing from you? Last night my child made his mother his confident, and,\r\nin the anguish of his heart, requested me to be thy friend\u0026mdash;when I shall\r\nbe childless. I will not attempt to describe what I felt when he talked\r\nthus to me. If I am to lose the support of my age, and be again a\r\nwidow\u0026mdash;may I call her \u003ca name=\"Page_174\" id=\"Page_174\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eChild whom my Henry wishes me to adopt?\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThis new instance of Henry\u0027s disinterested affection, Mary felt most\r\nforcibly; and striving to restrain the complicated emotions, and sooth\r\nthe wretched mother, she almost fainted: when the unhappy parent forced\r\ntears from her, by saying, \"I deserve this blow; my partial fondness\r\nmade me neglect him, when most he wanted a mother\u0027s care; this neglect,\r\nperhaps, first injured his constitution: righteous Heaven has made my\r\ncrime its own punishment; and now I am indeed a mother, I shall loss my\r\nchild\u0026mdash;my only child!\"\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eWhen they were a little more composed they hastened to the invalide; but\r\nduring the short ride, the mother related several instances of Henry\u0027s\r\ngoodness of heart. Mary\u0027s tears were not \u003ca name=\"Page_175\" id=\"Page_175\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ethose of unmixed anguish; the\r\ndisplay of his virtues gave her extreme delight\u0026mdash;yet human nature\r\nprevailed; she trembled to think they would soon unfold themselves in a\r\nmore genial clime.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_176\" id=\"Page_176\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_XXIX\" id=\"CHAP_XXIX\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. XXIX.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe found Henry very ill. The physician had some weeks before declared\r\nhe never knew a person with a similar pulse recover. Henry was certain\r\nhe could not live long; all the rest he could obtain, was procured by\r\nopiates. Mary now enjoyed the melancholy pleasure of nursing him, and\r\nsoftened by her tenderness the pains she could not remove. Every sigh\r\ndid she stifle, every tear restrain, when he could see or hear them. She\r\nwould boast of her resignation\u0026mdash;yet catch eagerly at the least ray of\r\nhope. While he slept she would support his pillow, and rest her head\r\nwhere she could feel his breath. She \u003ca name=\"Page_177\" id=\"Page_177\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eloved him better than herself\u0026mdash;she\r\ncould not pray for his recovery; she could only say, The will of Heaven\r\nbe done.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eWhile she was in this state, she labored to acquire fortitude; but one\r\ntender look destroyed it all\u0026mdash;she rather labored, indeed, to make him\r\nbelieve he was resigned, than really to be so.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe wished to receive the sacrament with him, as a bond of union which\r\nwas to extend beyond the grave. She did so, and received comfort from\r\nit; she rose above her misery.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHis end was now approaching. Mary sat on the side of the bed. His eyes\r\nappeared fixed\u0026mdash;no longer agitated by passion, he only felt that it was\r\na fearful thing to die. The soul retired to the citadel; but it was not\r\nnow solely filled by the image of her who in silent \u003ca name=\"Page_178\" id=\"Page_178\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003edespair watched for\r\nhis last breath. Collected, a frightful calmness stilled every turbulent\r\nemotion.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe mother\u0027s grief was more audible. Henry had for some time only\r\nattended to Mary\u0026mdash;Mary pitied the parent, whose stings of conscience\r\nincreased her sorrow; she whispered him, \"Thy mother weeps, disregarded\r\nby thee; oh! comfort her!\u0026mdash;My mother, thy son blesses thee.\u0026mdash;\" The\r\noppressed parent left the room. And Mary \u003ci\u003ewaited\u003c/i\u003e to see him die.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe pressed with trembling eagerness his parched lips\u0026mdash;he opened his\r\neyes again; the spreading film retired, and love returned them\u0026mdash;he gave\r\na look\u0026mdash;it was never forgotten. My Mary, will you be comforted?\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eYes, yes, she exclaimed in a firm voice; you go to be happy\u0026mdash;I am not \u003ca name=\"Page_179\" id=\"Page_179\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ea\r\ncomplete wretch! The words almost choked her.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHe was a long time silent; the opiate produced a kind of stupor. At\r\nlast, in an agony, he cried, It is dark; I cannot see thee; raise me up.\r\nWhere is Mary? did she not say she delighted to support me? let me die\r\nin her arms.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHer arms were opened to receive him; they trembled not. Again he was\r\nobliged to lie down, resting on her: as the agonies increased he leaned\r\ntowards her: the soul seemed flying to her, as it escaped out of its\r\nprison. The breathing was interrupted; she heard distinctly the last\r\nsigh\u0026mdash;and lifting up to Heaven her eyes, Father, receive his spirit, she\r\ncalmly cried.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe attendants gathered round; she moved not, nor heard the clamor; the\r\nhand seemed yet to press hers; it still \u003ca name=\"Page_180\" id=\"Page_180\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003ewas warm. A ray of light from\r\nan opened window discovered the pale face.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe left the room, and retired to one very near it; and sitting down on\r\nthe floor, fixed her eyes on the door of the apartment which contained\r\nthe body. Every event of her life rushed across her mind with wonderful\r\nrapidity\u0026mdash;yet all was still\u0026mdash;fate had given the finishing stroke. She\r\nsat till midnight.\u0026mdash;Then rose in a phrensy, went into the apartment, and\r\ndesired those who watched the body to retire.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eShe knelt by the bed side;\u0026mdash;an enthusiastic devotion overcame the\r\ndictates of despair.\u0026mdash;She prayed most ardently to be supported, and\r\ndedicated herself to the service of that Being into whose hands, she had\r\ncommitted the spirit she almost adored\u0026mdash;again\u0026mdash;\u003ca name=\"Page_181\" id=\"Page_181\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eand again,\u0026mdash;she prayed\r\nwildly\u0026mdash;and fervently\u0026mdash;but attempting to touch the lifeless hand\u0026mdash;her\r\nhead swum\u0026mdash;she sunk\u0026mdash;\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_182\" id=\"Page_182\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_XXX\" id=\"CHAP_XXX\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. XXX.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThree months after, her only friend, the mother of her lost Henry began\r\nto be alarmed, at observing her altered appearance; and made her own\r\nhealth a pretext for travelling. These complaints roused Mary out of her\r\ntorpid state; she imagined a new duty now forced her to exert herself\u0026mdash;a\r\nduty love made sacred!\u0026mdash;\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThey went to Bath, from that to Bristol; but the latter place they\r\nquickly left; the sight of the sick that resort there, they neither of\r\nthem could bear. From Bristol they flew to Southampton. The road was\r\npleasant\u0026mdash;yet Mary shut her eyes;\u0026mdash;or if they were \u003ca name=\"Page_183\" id=\"Page_183\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eopen, green fields\r\nand commons, passed in quick succession, and left no more traces behind\r\nthan if they had been waves of the sea.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eSome time after they were settled at Southampton, they met the man who\r\ntook so much notice of Mary, soon after her return to England. He\r\nrenewed his acquaintance; he was really interested in her fate, as he\r\nhad heard her uncommon story; besides, he knew her husband; knew him to\r\nbe a good-natured, weak man. He saw him soon after his arrival in his\r\nnative country, and prevented his hastening to enquire into the reasons\r\nof Mary\u0027s strange conduct. He desired him not to be too precipitate, if\r\nhe ever wished to possess an invaluable treasure. He was guided by him,\r\nand allowed him to follow Mary to Southampton, and speak first to her\r\nfriend.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_184\" id=\"Page_184\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eThis friend determined to trust to her native strength of mind, and\r\ninformed her of the circumstance; but she overrated it: Mary was not\r\nable, for a few days after the intelligence, to fix on the mode of\r\nconduct she ought now to pursue. But at last she conquered her disgust,\r\nand wrote her \u003ci\u003ehusband\u003c/i\u003e an account of what had passed since she had\r\ndropped his correspondence.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHe came in person to answer the letter. Mary fainted when he approached\r\nher unexpectedly. Her disgust returned with additional force, in spite\r\nof previous reasonings, whenever he appeared; yet she was prevailed on\r\nto promise to live with him, if he would permit her to pass one year,\r\ntravelling from place to place; he was not to accompany her.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThe time too quickly elapsed, and \u003ca name=\"Page_185\" id=\"Page_185\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eshe gave him her hand\u0026mdash;the struggle\r\nwas almost more than she could endure. She tried to appear calm; time\r\nmellowed her grief, and mitigated her torments; but when her husband\r\nwould take her hand, or mention any thing like love, she would instantly\r\nfeel a sickness, a faintness at her heart, and wish, involuntarily, that\r\nthe earth would open and swallow her.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003chr style=\"width: 65%;\" /\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca name=\"Page_186\" id=\"Page_186\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca name=\"CHAP_XXXI\" id=\"CHAP_XXXI\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eCHAP. XXXI.\u003c/h3\u003e\r\n\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eMary visited the continent, and sought health in different climates; but\r\nher nerves were not to be restored to their former state. She then\r\nretired to her house in the country, established manufactories, threw\r\nthe estate into small farms; and continually employed herself this way\r\nto dissipate care, and banish unavailing regret. She visited the sick,\r\nsupported the old, and educated the young.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eThese occupations engrossed her mind; but there were hours when all her\r\nformer woes would return and haunt her.\u0026mdash;Whenever she did, or said, any\r\nthing she thought Henry would have \u003ca name=\"Page_187\" id=\"Page_187\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003eapproved of\u0026mdash;she could not avoid\r\nthinking with anguish, of the rapture his approbation ever conveyed to\r\nher heart\u0026mdash;a heart in which there was a void, that even benevolence and\r\nreligion could not fill. The latter taught her to struggle for\r\nresignation; and the former rendered life supportable.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003eHer delicate state of health did not promise long life. In moments of\r\nsolitary sadness, a gleam of joy would dart across her mind\u0026mdash;She thought\r\nshe was hastening to that world \u003ci\u003ewhere there is neither marrying\u003c/i\u003e, nor\r\ngiving in marriage.\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u0026nbsp;\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003cp\u003e\u0026nbsp;\u003c/p\u003e\r\n\u003chr class=\"full\" /\u003e\r\n\u003c/article\u003e"}],"SectionSequence":["Back Link","Work Title","Deck","Author","Period","Era","Composition","Date Note","Region","Terra Avita","Terra Avita Region","Modern Country","Original Title","Language","Primary Discipline","Secondary Discipline","Tradition","Full Versions","Core Thesis","Classification","Arguments","Influence","Significance","Evidence Note","Full Text"],"Counts":{"ContextCards":3,"GeoCards":4,"DisciplineCards":2,"Links":11,"Sections":25,"Styles":3,"Scripts":1}}